Does silence make you uncomfortable?
When I went abroad for the first time, I just could not sleep on the very first night. I was wondering why I couldn’t sleep. It was a very spacious room for one person. It had everything you’d ask for. It had air conditioners, state of the art television, dvd players, refrigerators etc. It had everything, but one. A fan. A ceiling fan. That’s when I realised that I can’t sleep without a ceiling fan. I’ve got used to the rhythmic sound of the ceiling fan so much that the silence in that hotel room was disturbing. The silence was even eerie.
It didn’t take me too much time to realise that I can’t sleep in utter silence. Some of us are not used to silence. I was not. I’ve grown up in noisy neighbourhoods. Even at home, you always hear a voice. Silence is not really experienced. Silence is like truth. Too much of it is really uncomfortable. I realised that I needed some noise around me to sleep peacefully. Quite an irony but that was the case. So, I switched on the television and left it on a music channel at reasonable volume for a midnight. I think I was then asleep in about 10 minutes.
Even at home, we’ve got air conditioners in every living space but the fans are a must in the nights. The fans are supposed to run all day and night while air conditioners will be on and off. I’m writing this today because something happened yesterday too. I was putting my daughter to sleep in the night. My wife was busy with some work in the kitchen. While my daughter was falling asleep, I was suddenly thinking ‘why am I feeling like I’m a hotel room?’. The air-conditioner was running and the fan was off. That was it. So it was not so much about the ceiling fan. It’s about the sound of it. The fact that the fan does not leave me alone. It gives my mind some company with its noise.
Going back to the point about utter silence, how often have we got to experience utter silence? There is always some noise or sound or music that always surrounds us wherever we are. Those to some extent keep the mind busy. It helps the mind not to think anything in depth. While we are thinking about what to do in office today, we also hear the blaring horns of the truck, the radio music from the tea shop, the noise that children make etc. As we hear and register them, subconsciously we they keep our mind busy. Think for a moment that there is absolute silence around you. Or you have the remote for this whole world and you hit the mute button. In silence, 24 hours will be like 48 hours. I can’t explain you but I’m sure you can feel it. In silence, you tend to think a lot and then stop thinking altogether. It is the stage where we think a lot that we would normally find it difficult to cross.
Silence can be of many types – silence of the external world, your own outer silence and your inner silence. Contrary to public perception, these are not really mutually exclusive. Some minds can achieve inner silence even while the whole world is being bombed. For the untrained minds, it has to be a gradual process. That’s why you’re told to find a calm place (silence of the external world), and then sit quietly in a posture (your outer silence), and let your mind wander and finally stop thinking (your inner silence).
Since the world does not have a remote control, the idea of muting the world is purely imaginary. Believe me, you can mute the world as well. Because it is your ear that hears all the noise. If you choose not to hear, you don’t hear anything and you’d have muted the world. Forget muting the world, the idea of muting yourself is certainly possible. In Hinduism we have this ‘mouna vratham’ which is a ritual of silence. The less we speak the more we understand the importance of silence and also that of words. We don’t have go looking for moments of silence. But when they present themselves, we don’t have to run away from them, like I did in those abroad nights or yesterday night.
Our problem may be very simple in life; we find that we must keep doing, thinking, going, listening, running, talking or else what shall we be? We love to be filled with noise, images, words, thoughts, memories, fantasies, sensations, people, pleasures and good feelings. When these things are not, we feel bored, alone, scared and quite possibly angry and confused. The brain needs input almost continuously.
Isn’t it the case? We need to keep the mind filled with nonsense. If we don’t, the mind will go looking for the truth. And we don’t want that, do we?
This is very true! I can understand what you went through in the hotel room. Just yesterday afternoon I had to keep Neo Cricket on low volume to get some sleep. I bet you won’t understand that happening in Chennai!
I love silence , I can sit for hours in silence, maybe its to do with the place I belong to, its all about habit.
Vj,
I feel that you are finding a calm place (silence of the external world), and then sitting quietly in a posture (your outer silence), and letting your mind wander and making a post. That’s why you come up with a nice post every time
No doubt silence was eerie to me in abroad as well. I did the same by switching on the TV.
This happens to me when I sit alone to study for exams as well. During winters I switch off the fan and slowly my mind starts filling with unwanted stuffs. I end up wasting hours before I realise I have huge chapters to cover up. I immediately take a bed sheet and wrap me around and switch on the fan. Fan helps my mind think what is required for that moment immensely! It becomes sultry & odd without a fan! At office it’s the same! Working on a lonely weekend is quite different from a noisy weekday.
On your questions, I need to keep my mind occupied or it gets filled with nonsense. If I don’t, my mind will go looking for unwanted realities. And I don’t want that! As Vidya rightly said, “It’s all about habit”
I always remember Vivekananda’s saying, “You become what you think when you are alone” and still working on my thought process when I am alone, I mean without a fan!
@ilbrutto: Silence on a Sunday afternoon in Chennai? Let’s move on . . .
@Vidya: I know that you’re at the feet of Himalayas. You must be so fortunate!
@Santy: Thanks. A small correction. I did not say that you need to keep your mind occupied OR it gets filled with nonsense. I was saying “You need to keep your mind occupied with nonsense OR it would go to looking for the truth (not unwanted realities)”
I live near the main road and I cannot sleep without the sound now. Something like your fan thing.
Now, I know why you commented on my blog template. You template is amazing.
Vjy,
chershing
Again anice post
It’s possible that Silence can take us to a journey of turth thats where I beleive in past and even now the saints go to Himalayas ot in to caves where place is hiding itself away from all the sounds and just occupied with silence. Hence Saints attain the essence of truth.
Too me if I need to read a book or a magazine defently a radio or TV has to run and with out this I cannot as the silence pushes me to deep sleep.
While prearing for my 10th exams my Mom used to always stare at me as i playp the Tape and then keep on preparing for exams, this is a strange case for my mom where as for me its way to concentrate and prepare for exam.
Nice post!
Silence doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable – in fact I crave for it at times. I live in the US and don’t need a fan in my house (for the most part). I have gotten used to sleeping when it’s quiet. And when I come back home (India), the first few days I just don’t sleep well and then I (i.e. my mind) gets used to the noise
Thought provoking!
Vj,
My view is opposite of yours. I still stand by saying, “I need to keep my mind occupied or it gets filled with nonsense. If I don’t, my mind will go looking for nonsense (unwanted realities)”
What my mind is occupied with may not be truth, may be something which keeps me engaged! May be I am confusing you but I mean what I say
It is not confusing but I just wanted to see if I was quoted correctly, if at all I was quoted.
One more good post which reminds our reality. I too need some sound especially as said ‘fan’, I used to fight at home to switch it ON irrespective of outside weather as may be my mind got used to its sound since the day I started sleeping.I can say its having some sort of rhythym & music in it which my mind expects before sleep. During Childhood days I used to sleep on open top roof especially during summer by listening cinema reviews,dialogues at night from radio. As said we got used to ‘ing life style so we need continue as it is else we will be left alone.
Aha! Everyone ended up telling us why (s)he can’t sleep in silence
The post is actually about silence as such, particularly when we are awake. The post is about how we want to keep ourselves so busy that we don’t have the uncomfortable silence which will probe into us.
I love, love, love the silence! My brain gets full if there is too much noise or talking going on and I literally have to go outside to feel the silence again. Even then… there are birds chirping and the wind is blowing. Silence, REAL silence, is almost impossible to come by.
I don’t know if you have heard the song “Sober” by Pink, but she has a moment where she says, “I don’t want to be the girl that has to feel the silence,” and it gets completely silent for what feels like an eternity, but is only really a second. Life feels longer in the silence; it doesn’t slip through our fingers as quickly.
Great post!