What’s your response?
By now, you must have a fair idea about my reading habits. In my case, the term ‘reading habit’ is an oxymoron. But I do buy books every now and then in the hope that I’d read them. One such book that I bought recently was Stephen Covey’s ‘7 habits of highly effective people’. By the time I bought this book, it had sold about 15 million copies worldwide. That’s how late I picked it up.
Though it’s been a popular title for years, I never cared to see what those 7 habits are. When I went to the store last time, I just picked it up with a ‘lemme look’ mindset. I quickly went to the contents page to see what those 7 habits are. Those were very generic things which didn’t impress me. But I thought 10 million people can’t be so wrong. So I started reading on one of the seven habits. Before I could finish reading that page, I’d decided that I’d buy that book. I generally don’t like these self-help or self-confidence or self-improvement kind of books. This one was very impressive though, so I bought it.
Typically, I didn’t even open the book for many weeks since then. Last week, I felt like reading a book and this book was right there. There was a lot of content before Covey started talking about the habits. But I went straightaway to the first habit – Be Proactive. As he rightly puts it, ‘proactive’ is a recently coined word. I’m not sure how many dictionaries have this entry. His theory around ‘being proactive’ is all about taking the action in response to our social, economic, professional, family environments. It was a great read.
He talks about a thing called ‘circle of concern’. What he wants us to put there is all the concerns, issues and problems that you might have. Then he talks about a ‘circle of influence’. This is a circle inside the ‘circle of concern’. In the ‘circle of influence’, out of all the concerns, issues and problems that we put in the earlier circle, put all those where you can take an action. It would like this – concentric circles where the inner circle would normally be smaller. Now, focusing on what you can do is being proactive. The more you’re proactive, the bigger the inner circle would get. So being proactive is all about being responsible for our own lives. Our responses to our environment are our decisions and choices. Our behaviour is a function of our decisions rather than our conditions.
Seen this one before?
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Have you seen this movie ‘Shawshank Redemption’? For the ones who have seen this great movie, the protagonist’s actions and decisions are all about this. The 20-year imprisonment is the condition or the environment. What he wants to do there or what he can do about it is all in his hands. It’s very practical way to approach life. I can have thousand things that bother me but everything must come down to what I can do about them. I can’t do anything, I should not waste my focus. This zen story also touches upon these circles.
One day while walking through the wilderness a man stumbled upon a vicious tiger. He ran but soon came to the edge of a high cliff. Desperate to save himself, he climbed down a vine and dangled over the fatal precipice. As he hung there, two mice appeared from a hole in the cliff and began gnawing on the vine. Suddenly, he noticed on the vine a plump wild strawberry. He plucked it and popped it in his mouth. It was incredibly delicious!
I may not have known these copyrighted concepts before but this has always been my way. I hate to complain. I hate to whine. That’s because if I can do something about it, I feel that I just have to do it. Otherwise, just understand that that’s the way the environment is. The world may never meet my expectations and it’s not supposed to. It’s a set of random things that keep evolving – human and otherwise. How I deal with the expectations of the world is all in the way I respond to my environment. I must say, it is so much fun doing that. It’s like a strategy game. You make your moves. You feel like you’re range of control keeps increasing as you get better at it.
How’s it for you? Is your circle of influence closer to your circle of concern or is it expanding?
Interestng article. I have tried to read 7 habits, but have never completed. But the circle of concern concept is really effective and helping to those who are sensitive or laggard.
About, Shawshank Redemption, after reading your synopsis, the film seems to be very interesting.
Nice read.
Megha – you must watch Shawshank Redemption AS.SOON.AS.POSSIBLE. It’s magnificent movie – one of the very best I’ve seen. There’s so much to appreciate and learn in this movie. Do watch it asap.
Vijayyyy…. finally you are back.
I don’t know much about the book “7 habits of highly effective people’” but “Shawshank Redemption” is a nice & interesting movie. I too believe in this statement – “Our behaviour is a function of our decisions rather than our conditions” it did make a difference with me several times.
Good that you are back vijay after a looo……ooong vacation. Vacation in Vacation
Hi Vijay ! I am happy to read that you bought and read Covey’s book ! My job is half done !! We can have a discussion tomorrow and discuss the circles (good if we have Vivek too !! ) and get on with its practical application !! : )) Also since when conference calls become a vacation for you !! : ))
Vj,
I suppose each and every Indian got to read this book. Some how I feel Indians have learnt the art of complaining better than the rest of the World. With or without knowing these concepts I somehow hate people complaining on someone else! First one got to stop spiting on the road, urinating in a market place, throwing the candy wrapper, mineral water packet, used bus tickets, parking in no parking etc., etc., to complain on the Government. No actions whatsoever within one’s circle of influence! I see even highly educated professionals doing it! That’s me looking at your concepts with some social responsibility
On the other hand If I have to enjoy my stay and help myself in this birth I got to look at it as below as well,
It’s good to pick the best one if you have a choice and then these concepts wouldn’t help or someone would not have mind reading these! However if someone do not have a choice then it is difficult to survive without practising whatever you have said! Again choices are always there and it’s about us to decide what’s the best! To quit or to exist and let one selves down or to live by increasing one’s circle of influence or area of control!
Not to forget one needs determination, self confidence and self-belief to apply these to their fullest potential!
Nice article yet again!
Hey it’s a butiful book and worth reading…loved going through your post …..keep writing…..cheers!!!
I too picked up the book long after the hype had died down. I liked Stephen Covey’s concept of the emotional bank account. And his classification of tasks into 4 combinations of ‘urgent’ and important.
Vijayyyy…. are you in this world.???? No posts, No News, No updates….!!! Boaring at times having same page….
Do something or give access to active users 
)
hmmm…. Vijayyyy…. I changed my home page back to ‘bluechampions’ as this is not a happening place to revisit
R U ALIVE.???? 
(
Dear Vijay (would prefer to call you BC if it is okay),
I have attended a two-day workshop on 7 Habits and it helped me a lot, but that was in early 2009 and now i have almost forgotten the usefulness of the theory. Thank you for rekindling the spark in me, i will get back to the workshop booklet. Please check Covey’s videos! And yes, i have the movie (Shawshank Redemption) in my collection but somehow couldn’t watch it, i am going to watch it tonight!