How often are you ‘temporarily mad’?
“Anger is temporary madness” said a wiseman. That’s probably the most precise line ever spoken about anger. I hate when people get angry. I hate it when I become angry. In my view, anger is a form of violence. A form of violence that is not punishable under law, unless there is an element of abuse in it. I have seen people getting angry for various things from the most trivial to the most crucial. For some, anger is a shield. It protects them from getting exposed or being challenged. Anger works as a poor substitute for logic and reason.
One gets angry when things don’t go as expected. When things don’t go as expected what you need is a decision to turn things around. Instead, when the immediate response is anger, mind’s not in the right condition for taking decisions. Anger is always an immediate response. Upon waiting it becomes vengeance. When someone upsets or disappoints you, all that you want to do is to immediately let the other person know that, through your angry face or words. That’s not the way to go for collaboration, co-operation or resolution. You only end up creating a very unhealthy climate by transferring negativity.
I’m of the opinion that anger just does not help. It has no positive value or utility. It might look that it helps, in the very short run, but it actually does not. I have heard people say about their subordinates ‘I blasted him and the document was on my desk in an hour’. He was not waiting for you to shout at him so he can prepare and keep it ready on your desk. The reason the work did not happen must have been something else. The moment your anger gets the work done for you, there are three dangerous consequences (i) you might fail to find the real reasons and root causes (ii) you start to think anger ‘works’ (iii) your anger creates a chain reaction.
Even worse is when people take pride about their anger. It’s easy to be angry, very easy to be angry, when one has the authority. Bosses over subordinates, parents over children, teachers over students – that’s all very easy. If you just reverse the roles for these people, you’ll realise that being angry is very easy. When someone’s angry, what that tells me is they have no other ideas, options, thoughts of how to handle the situation. That’s why I call anger as a poor substitute for logic and reason. You resort to anger only when you are unable to think, logic, reason and feel.
In my opinion, people get angry over others for only these reasons (i) their own mistakes, inability and helplessness (ii) having incorrect, unfair expectations on other people (iii) their own upsets and disappointments (iv) when they face the truth. In other words, we have only ourselves to blame for our anger. If I ever said that someone made me angry, that would be an absurd statement because to be or not to be angry is your choice. Anger comes out of very low awareness and maturity.
I do get angry sometimes. Once the moment of madness is over, I feel ashamed that I couldn’t find a better way to deal with it. And I make sure I deal it a more matured manner in future. That’s a promise I make to myself. Probably you guessed it, I was angry when I started writing this blog. Now I feel I’ve calmed down.
I was angry for a while as it took 6 months for a post since SEP ‘09.? I can’t show my anger and bang my own computer right.!!! I was bit wise in doing that to your new MAC than to my Windows computer, I don’t feel ashamed for this as my anger has a reason
. You are forgiven provided if you don’t bring my anger back 
heee…
I read in one of the proverbs “Anger is a letter short of Danger but its the most dangerous” – Its very true as our angry actions,experiences and angry moments teach give us only lessons and nothing else. Its a part of our emotions most use it as a weapon to see the expected moment, but not the wise. The successfull angry ppl are just in a history and not in legendry/role model list to remember. For eg: Hitler Vs Gandhi; John McEnroe Vs Federer; ……. vs Rahman
I like this statement “People take pride about their anger, when one has the authority. ‘Bosses over subordinates’ ” heeee…. Very TRUE thanks for being soooo honest Vj
Hey Anil! My eternal supporter! Welcome back! I know you’ll be back even if I resume after 6 years
I like your point about anger being one of our many emotions. You can argue why we need to suppress that. My view is not so much around suppressing anger but about creating a certain awareness and understanding that the need for anger does not even exists. So it’s not about suppressing, it’s about the elimination itself.
Quote “Anger comes out of very low awareness and maturity.” own mistakes, inability and helplessness, unfair expectations, upsets, disappointments, face the truth ” Unquote
Yes…these words tell me a lot. There are characters who take pride in telling others that they become very “angry” when things go wrong, things done incorrectly, things misunderstood. I don’t know, who encourages these unbalanced characters for becoming angry.
There is a saying in Tamil ” Addikara kai than annaikum” Have you heard this quote; -)
That’s another brilliant post from you Vj
The fact that you know very well about your fans mood, this is the right way to open discussions! We now are left with no other choice than to show maturity and understand that you have all reasons in the World for not making a post for months 
You spoke my mind out when you said, “I do get angry sometimes. Once the moment of madness is over, I feel ashamed that I couldn’t find a better way to deal with it. And I make sure I deal it a more matured manner in future. That’s a promise I make to myself.”
However I feel that such a feeling would come only to people who are so very bonded with relations, family, friends, colleagues & whoever they meet in their life. How much thought we put forth before making or breaking a relationship would largely influence our behavior ! That’s my understanding of maturity
I wouldn’t fully agree with “we have only ourselves to blame for our anger”. I do understand what you mean by saying that! But this would not apply always, I disagree! Isn’t there a limit beyond which you might get angry?
Another well written post from you Vijay. “In other words, we have only ourselves to blame for our anger” – I don’t quite agree with this statement. All you have said in this post is right. Anger is not the way out. I agree. But it just doesn’t creep out of our immaturity and incapability to handle situations. There are times when you get angry for the injustice dumped on you or someone else. Just tell me how can you overcome anger when you see someone chiding someone on the road. Or when someone spits on the road in front of you. I get angry for all these reasons too. Anger that most of the times cannot be directed on a person and doesn’t see results. But you feel the emotion all the same. I think this is perfectly justifiable and not an immature reaction. I would differ on your views owing to these points.
Santy & Anusha – You say that you don’t agree with the statement “we have only ourselves to blame for our anger”. Well, I’ll tell why I wrote that.
The question is not around anger is natural or not. The instances that you have mentioned are the ones when it is natural or normal for someone to get angry. My whole point is whether it’s necessary? Does it help? My point is that it is pointless.
You ask “is there a limit beyond which you get angry”. My answer is YES. Absolutely YES. But I only wonder WHY? What is the point in getting angry? You say that an injustice makes you angry. I think the more we understand the people and the society, the less we are disappointed and the less we are angry. Good makes us happy and the bad makes us angry, unhappy, disappointed and upset. The realisation that the good as well as the bad will continue to exist (no matter how much we try to tilt the balance) is the ‘awareness’ that I was referring to. The more aware we are, the less the need for anger.
Yes, it is sad to see people spit on the road. If I have to get angry for this, what are the other things I must be angry for. Will I ever rest? That’s why I say, good and bad (as we define them) co-exist, probably in equal proportions. Being sad or angry for bad will only take our time away from enjoying the good.
By the way, this post was primarily about getting angry at someone instead of anger towards society, governments, religious organisations, terrorists, bad guys etc.
I totally agree with your point when you said anger is the outcome of one’s inability, helplessness, unwillingness to accept their mistakes. However the real challenge lies in getting over the moment of madness which is highly difficult practically. It’s easy to talk and write about angriness when we are calm but very difficult when it comes to real situation. I believe nobody can influence one’s state of anger or happiness. It’s natural. My simple tool to overcome anger is to stay calm when I am angry which helps me save time that I spend on repending later.
Vj,
I agree that there is no point in getting angry as we dont resolve the reason for angriness by getting angry. Angriness is like a drug that gives you temporary satisfaction. A feeling of satisfaction that you vented out your feelings finally. However the problem still exists.
Angriness is just like smoking a pack of cigar at a stretch and then feeling bad that you spoiled your lung
The point here does cigar solve your problems! No, absolutely no. Instead you loose yourselves. One can quit smoking only gradually after conscious effort. I feel to get over anger similar effort is required. Sometimes even more than whats required to quit smoking 
I like the way you walk into people and break open the topics in their subconscious minds! That’s why I like your blog and I am a fan of it. Not because you are a superman