“Anger is temporary madness” said a wiseman. That’s probably the most precise line ever spoken about anger. I hate when people get angry. I hate it when I become angry. In my view, anger is a form of violence. A form of violence that is not punishable under law, unless there is an element of abuse in it. I have seen people getting angry for various things from the most trivial to the most crucial. For some, anger is a shield. It protects them from getting exposed or being challenged. Anger works as a poor substitute for logic and reason.
One gets angry when things don’t go as expected. When things don’t go as expected what you need is a decision to turn things around. Instead, when the immediate response is anger, mind’s not in the right condition for taking decisions. Anger is always an immediate response. Upon waiting it becomes vengeance. When someone upsets or disappoints you, all that you want to do is to immediately let the other person know that, through your angry face or words. That’s not the way to go for collaboration, co-operation or resolution. You only end up creating a very unhealthy climate by transferring negativity.
I’m of the opinion that anger just does not help. It has no positive value or utility. It might look that it helps, in the very short run, but it actually does not. I have heard people say about their subordinates ‘I blasted him and the document was on my desk in an hour’. He was not waiting for you to shout at him so he can prepare and keep it ready on your desk. The reason the work did not happen must have been something else. The moment your anger gets the work done for you, there are three dangerous consequences (i) you might fail to find the real reasons and root causes (ii) you start to think anger ‘works’ (iii) your anger creates a chain reaction.
Even worse is when people take pride about their anger. It’s easy to be angry, very easy to be angry, when one has the authority. Bosses over subordinates, parents over children, teachers over students – that’s all very easy. If you just reverse the roles for these people, you’ll realise that being angry is very easy. When someone’s angry, what that tells me is they have no other ideas, options, thoughts of how to handle the situation. That’s why I call anger as a poor substitute for logic and reason. You resort to anger only when you are unable to think, logic, reason and feel.
In my opinion, people get angry over others for only these reasons (i) their own mistakes, inability and helplessness (ii) having incorrect, unfair expectations on other people (iii) their own upsets and disappointments (iv) when they face the truth. In other words, we have only ourselves to blame for our anger. If I ever said that someone made me angry, that would be an absurd statement because to be or not to be angry is your choice. Anger comes out of very low awareness and maturity.
I do get angry sometimes. Once the moment of madness is over, I feel ashamed that I couldn’t find a better way to deal with it. And I make sure I deal it a more matured manner in future. That’s a promise I make to myself. Probably you guessed it, I was angry when I started writing this blog. Now I feel I’ve calmed down.
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26 Mar 10
I was angry for a while as it took 6 months for a post since SEP ’09.? I can’t show my anger and bang my own computer right.!!! I was bit wise in doing that to your new MAC than to my Windows computer, I don’t feel ashamed for this as my anger has a reason
. You are forgiven provided if you don’t bring my anger back 
heee…
I read in one of the proverbs “Anger is a letter short of Danger but its the most dangerous” – Its very true as our angry actions,experiences and angry moments teach give us only lessons and nothing else. Its a part of our emotions most use it as a weapon to see the expected moment, but not the wise. The successfull angry ppl are just in a history and not in legendry/role model list to remember. For eg: Hitler Vs Gandhi; John McEnroe Vs Federer; ……. vs Rahman
I like this statement “People take pride about their anger, when one has the authority. ‘Bosses over subordinates’ ” heeee…. Very TRUE thanks for being soooo honest Vj