Comments on: How often are you ‘temporarily mad’?

By: Santy

Santy — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 13:51:08 +0000

Vj,
I agree that there is no point in getting angry as we dont resolve the reason for angriness by getting angry. Angriness is like a drug that gives you temporary satisfaction. A feeling of satisfaction that you vented out your feelings finally. However the problem still exists.
Angriness is just like smoking a pack of cigar at a stretch and then feeling bad that you spoiled your lung The point here does cigar solve your problems! No, absolutely no. Instead you loose yourselves. One can quit smoking only gradually after conscious effort. I feel to get over anger similar effort is required. Sometimes even more than whats required to quit smoking
I like the way you walk into people and break open the topics in their subconscious minds! That’s why I like your blog and I am a fan of it. Not because you are a superman

By: Mathu

Mathu — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 13:31:45 +0000

I totally agree with your point when you said anger is the outcome of one’s inability, helplessness, unwillingness to accept their mistakes. However the real challenge lies in getting over the moment of madness which is highly difficult practically. It’s easy to talk and write about angriness when we are calm but very difficult when it comes to real situation. I believe nobody can influence one’s state of anger or happiness. It’s natural. My simple tool to overcome anger is to stay calm when I am angry which helps me save time that I spend on repending later.

By: vjkrishna

vjkrishna — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 16:29:23 +0000

Santy & Anusha – You say that you don’t agree with the statement “we have only ourselves to blame for our anger”. Well, I’ll tell why I wrote that.
The question is not around anger is natural or not. The instances that you have mentioned are the ones when it is natural or normal for someone to get angry. My whole point is whether it’s necessary? Does it help? My point is that it is pointless.
You ask “is there a limit beyond which you get angry”. My answer is YES. Absolutely YES. But I only wonder WHY? What is the point in getting angry? You say that an injustice makes you angry. I think the more we understand the people and the society, the less we are disappointed and the less we are angry. Good makes us happy and the bad makes us angry, unhappy, disappointed and upset. The realisation that the good as well as the bad will continue to exist (no matter how much we try to tilt the balance) is the ‘awareness’ that I was referring to. The more aware we are, the less the need for anger.
Yes, it is sad to see people spit on the road. If I have to get angry for this, what are the other things I must be angry for. Will I ever rest? That’s why I say, good and bad (as we define them) co-exist, probably in equal proportions. Being sad or angry for bad will only take our time away from enjoying the good.
By the way, this post was primarily about getting angry at someone instead of anger towards society, governments, religious organisations, terrorists, bad guys etc.

By: Anusha

Anusha — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:05:26 +0000

Another well written post from you Vijay. “In other words, we have only ourselves to blame for our anger” – I don’t quite agree with this statement. All you have said in this post is right. Anger is not the way out. I agree. But it just doesn’t creep out of our immaturity and incapability to handle situations. There are times when you get angry for the injustice dumped on you or someone else. Just tell me how can you overcome anger when you see someone chiding someone on the road. Or when someone spits on the road in front of you. I get angry for all these reasons too. Anger that most of the times cannot be directed on a person and doesn’t see results. But you feel the emotion all the same. I think this is perfectly justifiable and not an immature reaction. I would differ on your views owing to these points.

By: Santy

Santy — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 18:36:32 +0000

That’s another brilliant post from you Vj The fact that you know very well about your fans mood, this is the right way to open discussions! We now are left with no other choice than to show maturity and understand that you have all reasons in the World for not making a post for months
You spoke my mind out when you said, “I do get angry sometimes. Once the moment of madness is over, I feel ashamed that I couldn’t find a better way to deal with it. And I make sure I deal it a more matured manner in future. That’s a promise I make to myself.”
However I feel that such a feeling would come only to people who are so very bonded with relations, family, friends, colleagues & whoever they meet in their life. How much thought we put forth before making or breaking a relationship would largely influence our behavior ! That’s my understanding of maturity
I wouldn’t fully agree with “we have only ourselves to blame for our anger”. I do understand what you mean by saying that! But this would not apply always, I disagree! Isn’t there a limit beyond which you might get angry?

By: Prithvi

Prithvi — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 10:04:46 +0000

Quote “Anger comes out of very low awareness and maturity.” own mistakes, inability and helplessness, unfair expectations, upsets, disappointments, face the truth ” Unquote
Yes…these words tell me a lot. There are characters who take pride in telling others that they become very “angry” when things go wrong, things done incorrectly, things misunderstood. I don’t know, who encourages these unbalanced characters for becoming angry.
There is a saying in Tamil ” Addikara kai than annaikum” Have you heard this quote; -)

By: vjkrishna

vjkrishna — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 21:46:56 +0000

Hey Anil! My eternal supporter! Welcome back! I know you’ll be back even if I resume after 6 years
I like your point about anger being one of our many emotions. You can argue why we need to suppress that. My view is not so much around suppressing anger but about creating a certain awareness and understanding that the need for anger does not even exists. So it’s not about suppressing, it’s about the elimination itself.

By: Masti Ki Paatshala

Masti Ki Paatshala — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:14:50 +0000

I was angry for a while as it took 6 months for a post since SEP ’09.? I can’t show my anger and bang my own computer right.!!! I was bit wise in doing that to your new MAC than to my Windows computer, I don’t feel ashamed for this as my anger has a reason . You are forgiven provided if you don’t bring my anger back heee…
I read in one of the proverbs “Anger is a letter short of Danger but its the most dangerous” – Its very true as our angry actions,experiences and angry moments teach give us only lessons and nothing else. Its a part of our emotions most use it as a weapon to see the expected moment, but not the wise. The successfull angry ppl are just in a history and not in legendry/role model list to remember. For eg: Hitler Vs Gandhi; John McEnroe Vs Federer; ……. vs Rahman
I like this statement “People take pride about their anger, when one has the authority. ‘Bosses over subordinates’ ” heeee…. Very TRUE thanks for being soooo honest Vj