The Indian independence movement has always fascinated me. I was probably 10 years when I first saw the movie ‘Gandhi’. I’ve seen it many times since then. As a young boy, I never missed a chance to read, see or talk anything about Indian independence movement. As a kid you’d love heroes and the Indian freedom struggle produced so many of them. I used to think ‘if I had lived in the 1930’s or 40’s I’d have surely participated in the independence movement’. I used to like the idea of dedicating one’s life for a noble cause like Indian freedom. I guess I had too much ‘rush of blood’ back then.

Whenever I saw images and pictures of Indian freedom struggle and the attrocities during that period, they used to get my blood boil. I had a strong feeling that I’d have done something worthwhile. I’d not have joined the Indian National Army. Even as a young boy I was not attracted to the Bhagat Singh / Subhash Bose type of independence movement. I think I never believed in violence. I would have certainly joined Gandhi’s movement. I always respected and admired Gandhi. He might have got a few things right and few things wrong but to lead a life he led, is a massive achievement and sacrifice.

So, as a young boy, very naively, I have even thought, ‘why was I not born in that period? i could’ve fought for India’. I’m asking myself now. Do I now think that I’d have played an active role in the Indian independence if I was born, say, in1910?

I guess not. Now, I’m very convinced that I’d not have done anything special. To participate in anything like the Indian freedom movement, you need to have many things. You should have a concern for the people, you should have a desire to convert this concern into actions, you should be willing to make sacrifices, you should not worry about the consequences, you should stop living for yourselves. I don’t think I’d have made it. Probably, I’d have comforted myself into a nice job and family and probably at best, would have been writing in favour of Indian independence.

There are always needs for such movements. Earlier, it was for freedom struggle. Now there could be a new reason. In fact, the present reasons could be much more pressing than the freedom struggle. There might be a need for a movement against corrupt politicians, a movement against inefficient public servants, a movement in favour of education, a movement against communaism – there could be so many and there are so many. Have I shown any intention to change anything that’s happening around me. No. Have I shown any signs of actively engaging myself to bring about change? No. How can I honestly say that ‘I’d have played an active role in the Gandhian movement’? I cannot.

Active role does not even mean playing a leading role. Active role is just actively participating and supporting, which anyone with a genuine desire and passion must be able to do. When someone asked me if I’d like to become a prime minister, my answer was no. I don’t want to. I might be very unpopular with such a statement but I simply don’t think my life should be spent sacrificing for others. There were so many martyrs in the freedom struggle who spent all their lives and got nothing for themselves. So many unsung heroes. I don’t think I can make such sacrifices. And I don’t want to make such sacrifices.

How many of us have the courage to quit our fine careers for the common cause? How many of us prefer IAS and IPS over CA and MBA? How many of us can spend our lives for others? How many of us can take the plunge? How many of us will stop thinking ‘what’s in it for me’? Now, how many of us would say ‘I’d have done this and that in our independence movement’?

Make a list of 10 most famous artists, 10 most famous writers, 10 most famous poets, 10 most famous humourists and 10 most famous musicians. Out of these 50 personalities how many would be females? If you go by the normal demographical distribution, you must see 20 to 25 of those people being females. In reality, I think we might struggle to get 10 female names. I’ve always wondered why. When it comes to creative arts why don’t we see enough women there? I’m not coming to a conclusion. I’m just asking a question here. If I try to answer the question myself, I have a few options.

Opportunities: I think it can’t be a question of opportunities as they are certainly available. When I talk about opportunities I’m talking about women at large, not just Indian women. There are enough opportunities for women to get jobs in banks, companies and even politics. Creative arts require natural talent and genius which can create opportunities for the artists in the normal course of time. Are women being encouraged to take up creative arts is another question. With ‘less’ pressure to be breadwinner, I would imagine that women are better placed to take up creative arts.

Priorities: Yes, that could be different. If I’m very creative and I don’t apply my creativity beyond my realms, no one may ever get to know. As such, creativity can be applied anywhere. When they get applied in popular arts, it reaches people and creates that publicity. If I have different priorities and none of them are as popular as painting, writing, poetry, humour or music, it’s hard for me to prove that I’m a creative person too. It’s just a matter of choice about where I want to be creative.

Creativity: Is it just a matter of not being creative enough? Creativity may not have anything to do with gender. I respect statistics a lot. If creativity has nothing to do with gender, why would, even in 2009, we have less representation from women in creative arts? I know a few people who very categorically say that men are more creative than women. They say it as a matter of fact statement. It’s like saying Chennai burns like hell and Bangalore has a lovely weather. That’s how the creation is. It is not a matter of Chennai’s mistake or Bangalore’s choice when you talk about their weather. Out of the box is fine but if the box itself is very small, it may not be as out of the box as you’d like. Is their box very small? Or that’s because this is a man’s world?

I know I’ve used the word ‘creative’ a bit loosely here but I hope you get the point. To further the point, make a list of 10 most famous thinkers, 10 most famous philospohers, 10 most famous inventors, 10 most famous spiritual gurus, 10 most famous explorers and out of these find out how many . . .

I’m watching the live telecast of the academy awards as I type this. Every award ceremony is an elaborate celebration of success. It’s tough being a loser here, isn’t it? You’ve got little time for the loser unless you’re the one who lost it. Think of yourself as a nominee who didn’t ultimately get it. You’re nominated a month before the actual awards night. You start day dreaming and night dreaming about the awards night. Of course, winning in your day dreams and losing in your night dreams. The press suddenly thinks that you must be the best thing to happen in cinema and people think you should run for the president.

Every single person you meet tells you that you’re going to win. Some of them mean it and some of them say it because it’s a nice thing to say. Every gathering and every party you go to, you’re flooded with wishes and there is expectation all around. The countdown to the night is killing to a point where you don’t want to think about the future. Your wife says that you’ll win it. Your kids say that they know you’ll win it. The one thing that matters is winning. That wonderful feeling. You should win not becauce you were the best of the lost that year. You have to win because you don’t want to let anyone down.

Then comes the betting odds. You’re a favourite to win it. There are opinion polls. It’s you all the way. There are expert predictions. You top the list. Golden Globe Awards. You win it. Your odds improve. Your stock goes up to dizzying heights. You start believing that this is truly your year. You prepare for your thank you speech. Make a quick note of who need to be thanked and all that. You even take some help in writing that thank you note. You keep reminding yourself of things to do and things not to do on the night. You know winning or losing is not the end of the world but you know you simply can’t lose. You wonder why should they announce the award in the show? Why can’t they release it to the press the previous day? This show could be so fantastic then.

Then comes the big night. You walk on the red carpet hoping that you’d carry home that statue when you step back again on it. The awards ceremony begins. You are made to wait for your nominated section. The humour of the hosts does not really amuse you because you simply can’t wait. Inside, you’re screaming God! stop the jokes, get on with the awards!!!. There are so many other inconsequential stuff that you should watch through before yours would be introduced. It’s time for your section. The names of the nominees are called out. The sound of your name chills your spine and is greeted with the loudest of crowd cheer. You’re the favourite after all. They’re opening the envelope. You hold your nerves and try to stay balanced. You’re telling yourself to stay cool. Stay cool like you’ve won this a dozen times before.

And the oscar goes to . . . someone else.

You don’t want to believe it. For once you feel you’re not there. No one thinks you’re there except the dear ones near you who read out to you their quick consolation note. The winner is showered with kisses as he stands up to walk. Every single person looks at the stood up man. All eyes on the winner. You feel so fucking disappointed and unexplainably upset. It’s all come to an end. Fuck the odds, opinion polls and experts. This is the reality. You didn’t win it. You’re gonna leave this place the same way you came in, probably worse if not anything. Getting nominated is no mean feat, but when you do get nominated, you don’t want to stop there and it’s no longer a thing that you cherish most. You didn’t win. The disappointment of not winning is a hundred times bigger than the pleasure of being nominated.

You have no interest whatsoever in being there for the rest of the show. You’re trying your best to take it easy but you can’t. The hosts are still being funny with those one-liners. You still don’t appreciate, this time though for a different reason. You make up your mind. You remind yourself to appear gracious at defeat. You’re being watched and tracked. You remind yourself to say nice things about the winner so that you’re not seen as a sore loser. You’re waiting for the show to end. God, why do they have to award even the short animated films? who cares about them?. Show’s over. Dinner’s over. You’ve played the nice guy well enough.

It’s time to get back home. Life as usual. No cameras outside your house. No press coverage. No spotlight. They’re all busy with the winners. After the disappointment, you’re yet to meet all those people from your neighbours to relatives to friends. You need to appear cheerful and nice, and accept their ‘you deserved it better’, ‘hard luck’. You hate when people console you. You scream inside ‘I don’t need your fake words. Just get lost’. I don’t know for how many days but you have to endure that. You’re slowly getting tired of it but that’s the way it works. It would have all been all right if not for the hype which you did not create yourselves. They pulled you up to heights and have dropped you as well.

It’s tough to be a winner, but it’s tougher to be a loser especially if you don’t want to be one. It’s true that defeat teaches you more than victory does. My heart goes out to all those who weren’t nominated and who didn’t win despite their best performances.

I’m not challenging you, I’m just pondering here. How easy is it to commit the perfect murder? Every time I see the news about someone getting convicted for a murder, I wonder why they thought they wouldn’t get caught. I’m talking about those well-planned murders here. It is generally said that it is impossible to commit a perfect murder – the one where the killer leaves no evidences or witnesses. That’s why I wonder why they commit all these murders. How can they be so confident that they have committed the perfect murder and they cannot be caught?

Or may be, the perfect murder is possible, after all? Even the much-hailed LAPD has a murder case that is unresolved for 70 years! I don’t know what percentage of murders actually get solved. May be we can call all those unsolved murders as perfect ones. But then, just because the case is not closed may not mean that the case is unresolved. A case moy not be closed for various reasons, of which unable to solve the murder could be one. A murder is still a very unsophisticated crime. It is in most cases, a man to man thing. Whereas, forensic science has gone leaps and bounds over the last few decades. Man still kills man for the same reasons, using the same weapons, in the same locations, but the ways and means to solve the murder through forensic methods are ’state-of-the science’.

‘Dial M for Murder’ is one of my most favourite films. It is one of Alfred Hitchcock’s best ever. The movie is all about a man’s attempt to commit a perfect murder. He hires a stranger so a motive cannot be established. The job is to kill his wife. The scene where the husband talks to convince the paid-killer that his plan would work, is one of the best scenes I’ve seen in movies. As you’d expect, it fails because the protagonist is after all, a human. Despite weaving a well-explained fool-proof master plan, few things don’t go as planned which results in the assassin getting killed by accident. In further investigation, which is also excellently explained, the intelligent police officer solves the crime. The screenplay sets a benchmark for mystery/thriller movies. As with any Hitchcock movie, you gotta observe very well or watch it a few times to fully appreciate Hitchcock’s genius.

Why can’t be there a perfect murder? Quite difficult. There are always some clues which are there to see. One, there would be a motive. For every murder, you might zero in on to the ones who could have a motive. Two, it’s nearly impossible for the murderer to leave no evidences or witnesses behind. Forensic experts are way too sophisticated to keep scratching their heads. With an half-an-inch hair, they can probably tell you what you had for dinner last night. Three, it’s hard to fool all the people all the time. Humans are humans. No matter what, even the coldest of hearts will beat faster when lie, when they sense that they are being closed in.

The only way to commit a perfect murder would be like this. Someone from say, Delhi goes to say Kanpur. And this guy picks up some random person at home, murders him and returns to Delhi like nothing happened and continues to live his life. There is no motive here. Unless he has left any glaring clues, it’s hard to trace this guy back to Delhi because there is no reason, there is no motive. If you wonder why someone has to do this, believe me, there are all types of people in this world. Some psychopaths kill people for no reason. Those can be caught only in action. It’s hard to investigate their crime because even the evidences are of little help as there would no motive that can trace back to them. In another Hitchcock classic ‘Strangers on a Train’, two strangers meet in a train and develop a conversation. One man offers to kill the other man’s wife, while the other guy offers to kill this man’s brother. By trading murders, they can commit ‘motiveless’ murders, while they can have a perfect alibi.

Remember, there is only so much the law enforcement can handle. At any given point of time they may not be able to efficiently work on more than a certain number of cases. The resources, human and technical, will be limited to a certain extent. There’s going to be prioritisation there too. If it’s between the murder of a 20-year old BPO employee or a 80-year old street dweller, you know which catches the eye of the media and hence the demands the time of the police.

So, I’d conclude that perfect murders are always possible. It’s just that they don’t get caught. If they get caught, that wasn’t a perfect one. Easy to conclude, isn’t it?

Few weeks back, I happened to read this book ‘Six Thinking Hats’ by Edward de Bono. It was a good interesting idea but a badly written book. That’s natural because de Bono is more of a thinker than a writer. I liked the idea of organising our thoughts with the six-hats method. What struck me was the choice of colours by de Bono and how he had assigned them to various types of thinking. To get straight to the point, the black hat is supposed to symbolise ‘negative thinking’. How’s that?

Black negative. White positive. Why is black always associated with unpleasant things? Isn’t this a subtle way of racial discrimination? On one side we say ‘no to racism’ and then we see that subtly and symbolically racism exists. While it’s considered an offence to show racial discrimination, some racists never miss a chance to show the difference these ways. The colour black is not such an unpleasant colour in the Tamil language. That’s because Tamil is not the language of the white race. In English, most of the expressions using the black colour never have a pleasant reference.

A disastrous Monday is a black Monday. You don’t want to get a black mark. You would be careful of the black sheep. You don’t want to be blacklisted by anyone. You don’t want your stuff to be sold in the black market. You’d never like to be black mailed. Nothing scares you more than black magic. You may not be very popular with your black humour. You’d never appreciate a black-hearted person. You’d wear the black hat to look at the negatives of an idea. We will all vanish into the black hole.

If you are a black person, how comfortable would you be in using these expressions? Unfortunately, these cannot be erased from the language. These expressions have been in use for decades and centuries, probably since the first black man was noticed by an English-speaking man. To use any of these expressions may not mean you’re racist but I cannot ignore the undercurrent. Edward de Bono first talked about the six hats in the mid-80s. He could have said, black hat symbolises creativity or positive thinking. He didn’t. At least, I think we should be mindful of this fact when we propound new ideas and coin new words and expressions.

With these kind of references to the colour black, it’s hard to whitewash the undertones.