But then, if this Egypt thing happens to India, I just wonder what would happen. We’re left just with television and internet-less mobile phones. Sure that’s gonna trigger a lot of suicides but what else would happen. Facebook, twitter and blogging will stop. People stop knowing who’s going out with who. The great stage for the self-important people like me will be gone. We won’t be able to impress people that we don’t know. We can’t feel like celebrities. We can’t act like a know-all sitting behind the computer having wikipedia open in one tab.  We might have to engage with real people. We might have to speak to them, spammers and dullheads included. We won’t be able to right-click on them and hit ‘block user’.

No internet means no emails too! The telephone lines will be jammed anyway. Good old post cards might be back in fashion. I might have read more than the sports columns in newspapers. I can’t afford to get tired with my iPhone games and apps. No more online gaming. We need to keep playing the dumb AI – which either cheats you or allows you to batter it.

More than anything, I’ll find a new reason for not blogging regularly.

So why am I on Twitter and why has it now taken over my facebook time? Because twitter is exactly what I want. Some of us have not quite understood the difference between facebook and twitter. Since both these concepts come under the umbrella of ‘social networking’, some think of these as Pepsi and Coke. Facebook and Twitter are totally different. And it’s best explained by this interesting quote ‘Facebook is for finding old friends and Twitter is for making new ones’. It can’t be more correct than this. Facebook is like your house. Twitter is like the world.

Facebook is very closed and appears very conservative. In facebook, you operate within a small village of friends and friends of friends that you have allowed yourselves to interact with. Twitter is very open and is like this world – very big and full of strangers some of whom could hit a chord with you from nowhere. Also Facebook is very comprehensive and their intention to expand the usage of Facebook means they’ve got everything there – videos, pictures, mail, chat etc. In Twitter, all you get to do is just a text tweet of maximum 140 characters. While Twitter might sound like lacking in features, the twitter-lovers like exactly that. Twitter is simple, uncluttered, instant and more fun. Getting my messages within 140 characters is an interesting challenge. I love it. What I also love about Twitter is knowing what people are talking about, not just here, across the world. Tweet search and ‘trend-tracking’could be a great pasttime too.

I caught on to social networking pretty late. If not for the brilliant apps on my HTC and iPhone 4, I probably would never have. These lovely apps do a big service to Facebook and twitter by making the user experience so much better than it is on the full website. So, thanks to iPhone 4, I’ll be on these until I get bored of them. I’ll continue to use Facebook but intend spend most of my facebook time on twitter. So, now trending: vjkrgn on twitter.

For various reasons (mostly lame), I haven’t been able to write in this blog for a long time. But I’m here now. It’s a bit like coming back home. You never ignore it. It’s always there as a part of you. When you come back you feel this peace and calm. I’m home.

I want to write more. And I will.

I really like his music. I like his music for exactly why I like hip-hop. The music is not about how much the singer ‘wants his lover’, ‘needs his lover’ and ‘wanna be with her forever and ever’. His music is about the real issues facing his society and what it means to grow up and live in Africa. It’s all very authentic, genuine and original.

In one song he says that, when he was a small boy, his close cousin, a buddy that he grows up with, was left in the civil war because his mom did not have enough money to rescue him. And that it was such a tough choice for her that only she and K’Naan could flee the country leaving his cousin was left stranded in the civil war. This song did something to me. I truly truly feel for the people of Africa. The people and the land of Africa were and are being very cunningly exploited.

That’s when I thought we may not even know the real meaning of the word ‘privilege’. Of course we have our own versions of ‘tough life’ most having to do with poverty. To live in a war-ravaged country is something horrendous. It is a dreadful combination of violence, lack of freedom, poverty and above all hopelessness.

I’m very intrigued by the situation in Africa. Why most of the African countries are so poor? Why are there so many wars and violence? Being such a repository of resources, why should this continent be the biggest recipient of global support? Why, even in South Africa where the standards is living are relatively better, one person in every five is infected with AIDS?

I’ve seen this movie ‘Hotel Rwanda’ which is one of my favourite movies. I liked ‘Blood Diamond’ which gave me some more idea. I knew that these may only be the tip of the iceberg.

I want to read the history of Africa. I want to know how it all began. I’m very curious to know the root cause for their current state. I can pretty much guess that the established empires of the west could have exploited and finally left them in the lurch when it all became unmanageable.

I mean it. I’m going to learn more about Africa.

Survivorship bias is the logical error of concentrating on the people or things that “survived” some process and ignoring those that didn’t. This can lead to false conclusions in several different ways. The survivors may literally be people, as in a medical study, or could be companies or research subjects or applicants for a job, or anything that must make it past some selection process to be considered further.

Survivorship bias can lead to overly optimistic beliefs because failures are ignored, such as when companies that no longer exist are excluded from analyses of financial performance. It can also lead to the false belief that the successes in a group have some special property, rather than being just lucky.

Wiki also goes to explain this with a lovely example.

If the three of the five students with the best college grades went to the same high school, that can lead one to believe that the high school must offer an excellent education. This could be true, but the question cannot be answered without looking at the grades of all the other students from that high school, not just the ones who “survived” the top-five selection process.

I thought this is a great concept for us to be aware. The fundamental point here is about how well the sample that we consider represents the overall population. It is a general tendency to ignore the failures and consider only the ‘survivors’ as our sample. Imagine a company opening about 100 funds of which over a period of time they close down about 30 of their worst performing funds. Now the balance 70 funds, which are the ‘survivors’ would certainly have good returns. Now the company can brag how their funds are outperforming the market. What we might miss to see is that these funds are the survivors who would naturally have a higher skewed average.

During World War II the English sent daily bombing raids into Germany. Many planes never returned; those that did were often riddled with bullet holes from anti-air machine guns and German fighters. Wanting to improve the odds of getting a crew home alive, English engineers studied the locations of the bullet holes. Where the planes were hit most, they reasoned, is where they should attach heavy armor plating. Sure enough, a pattern emerged: Bullets clustered on the wings, tail, and rear gunner’s station. Few bullets were found in the main cockpit or fuel tanks. The logical conclusion is that they should add armor plating to the spots that get hit most often by bullets. But that’s wrong. Planes with bullets in the cockpit or fuel tanks didn’t make it home; the bullet holes in returning planes were “found” in places that were by definition relatively benign. The real data is in the planes that were shot down, not the ones that survived.

In this fantastic example, the sample data for the research must have been what happened to the planes that were shot down. That’s what would help them in bringing back more people alive. The research on the returned planes and in particular, the decision to install heavy armour plates in the areas with maximum hit, is a classic display of survivorship bias.

While statistics is about interpreting the data available, what’s also important is to know about the data that is not available and the significance of the unknown data in the projections based on statistical methods. Also, the fact that there are failures which are being removed out of the system, makes any comparison to the past data potentially meaningless.

As you’re aware, in large organisations, on a periodic basis, there would employee feedback surveys. Assume that the survey shows that about 20% are terribly unhappy. Suppose these 20% staff leave the organisation, the newer survey tends to show a better result than last year’s one. The latest survey results are better because it considers the feedback of only the survivors and hence the result could be skewed.

Why does this survivorship bias exist? Can we avoid it? Traditionally, we are biased towards survivors or winners. We read stories, biographies and autobiographies of the winners and survivors to learn how they did it. There’s more to be learnt from the ones who did not survive. Studying the survivors alone could produce a skewed result. The population cannot be complete without taking into account the ones who did not survive.

The other day at lunch, one colleague of mine was saying that there are almost no bad actors in Hollywood (when compared to Indian movies), only for another colleague to quickly point out that ‘probably only those kind of movies don’t get released here’. That’s classic case of survivorship bias and subsequent realisation. Despite our understanding of statistical sampling, we tend to think that the sample of movies that’s released in India is the whole population of Hollywood movies made.

So how does this help us? Why would we have to be aware about this concept? Learning about the survivorship bias makes you less vulnerable to be fooled by this phenomenon. It helps you to ask the right questions. It helps you to put things in perspective. It helps you to read beyond the numbers and also remind you about the significance of the unknown data.

I’m very impressed with this concept. If we are not careful, this bias or a pitfall that we could fall into, very easily in our day to day life. As soon as I read this as a concept, I’m able to see this bias exists almost everywhere and that’s being exploited. Hope it helps you too, if not, at least this is a new thought to debate.

One gets angry when things don’t go as expected. When things don’t go as expected what you need is a decision to turn things around. Instead, when the immediate response is anger, mind’s not in the right condition for taking decisions. Anger is always an immediate response. Upon waiting it becomes vengeance. When someone upsets or disappoints you, all that you want to do is to immediately let the other person know that, through your angry face or words. That’s not the way to go for collaboration, co-operation or resolution. You only end up creating a very unhealthy climate by transferring negativity.

I’m of the opinion that anger just does not help. It has no positive value or utility. It might look that it helps, in the very short run, but it actually does not. I have heard people say about their subordinates ‘I blasted him and the document was on my desk in an hour’. He was not waiting for you to shout at him so he can prepare and keep it ready on your desk. The reason the work did not happen must have been something else. The moment your anger gets the work done for you, there are three dangerous consequences (i) you might fail to find the real reasons and root causes (ii) you start to think anger ‘works’ (iii) your anger creates a chain reaction.

Even worse is when people take pride about their anger. It’s easy to be angry, very easy to be angry, when one has the authority. Bosses over subordinates, parents over children, teachers over students – that’s all very easy. If you just reverse the roles for these people, you’ll realise that being angry is very easy. When someone’s angry, what that tells me is they have no other ideas, options, thoughts of how to handle the situation. That’s why I call anger as a poor substitute for logic and reason. You resort to anger only when you are unable to think, logic, reason and feel.

In my opinion, people get angry over others for only these reasons (i) their own mistakes, inability and helplessness (ii) having incorrect, unfair expectations on other people (iii) their own upsets and disappointments (iv) when they face the truth. In other words, we have only ourselves to blame for our anger. If I ever said that someone made me angry, that would be an absurd statement because to be or not to be angry is your choice. Anger comes out of very low awareness and maturity.

I do get angry sometimes. Once the moment of madness is over, I feel ashamed that I couldn’t find a better way to deal with it. And I make sure I deal it a more matured manner in future. That’s a promise I make to myself. Probably you guessed it, I was angry when I started writing this blog. Now I feel I’ve calmed down.

Mac certainly costs more than the regular windows machines. For the same configurations as my macbook, if it were windows I could have got it at about 60% of the price. But as they say, if you think Mac is expensive then Mac’s not for you. That’s because, it’s not just the cost of the individual components of the configuration that you pay for. It’s the wholesome product and the experience it gives you. There’s a beautiful harmony about macbook and the applications that it has. You get a feeling that someone’s made this notebook just for you. You really tend to think that they had ‘you’ in their mind when they made it.

The first thing that had me fall in love with macbook was its design. It may sound a bit exaggerating but I think it’s a work of art, this design of Macbook. Every little thing has been thought out. Everything that is there is because of a reason – the size of the trackpad, the design of the applications, the space for arm rest, the arrangement of sockets, even the thumb scoop, the look n feel, the logo – as I said there’s a harmony among all these things. There is a beautiful theme that’s so very consistent in all things Mac. Again, all these things may sound like exaggeration or ‘fanboyism’ – if you’ve not used a Mac.

The other thing Mac has managed for me is to revive this blog. Thanks the Macjournal application, posting an article to a blog is so so easy. Expect more posts from now on (how many times I’ve said this). Over the last few weeks and months, I’ve been reading some interesting books which have some great concepts to think about and have views on. Some of them can very ground breaking and thought provoking. Stay tuned.

Though it’s been a popular title for years, I never cared to see what those 7 habits are. When I went to the store last time, I just picked it up with a ‘lemme look’ mindset. I quickly went to the contents page to see what those 7 habits are. Those were very generic things which didn’t impress me. But I thought 10 million people can’t be so wrong. So I started reading on one of the seven habits. Before I could finish reading that page, I’d decided that I’d buy that book. I generally don’t like these self-help or self-confidence or self-improvement kind of books. This one was very impressive though, so I bought it.

Typically, I didn’t even open the book for many weeks since then. Last week, I felt like reading a book and this book was right there. There was a lot of content before Covey started talking about the habits. But I went straightaway to the first habit – Be Proactive. As he rightly puts it, ‘proactive’ is a recently coined word. I’m not sure how many dictionaries have this entry. His theory around ‘being proactive’ is all about taking the action in response to our social, economic, professional, family environments. It was a great read.

He talks about a thing called ‘circle of concern’. What he wants us to put there is all the concerns, issues and problems that you might have. Then he talks about a ‘circle of influence’. This is a circle inside the ‘circle of concern’. In the ‘circle of influence’, out of all the concerns, issues and problems that we put in the earlier circle, put all those where you can take an action. It would like this – concentric circles where the inner circle would normally be smaller. Now, focusing on what you can do is being proactive. The more you’re proactive, the bigger the inner circle would get. So being proactive is all about being responsible for our own lives. Our responses to our environment are our decisions and choices. Our behaviour is a function of our decisions rather than our conditions.

Seen this one before?

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Have you seen this movie ‘Shawshank Redemption’? For the ones who have seen this great movie, the protagonist’s actions and decisions are all about this. The 20-year imprisonment is the condition or the environment. What he wants to do there or what he can do about it is all in his hands. It’s very practical way to approach life. I can have thousand things that bother me but everything must come down to what I can do about them. I can’t do anything, I should not waste my focus. This zen story also touches upon these circles.

One day while walking through the wilderness a man stumbled upon a vicious tiger. He ran but soon came to the edge of a high cliff. Desperate to save himself, he climbed down a vine and dangled over the fatal precipice. As he hung there, two mice appeared from a hole in the cliff and began gnawing on the vine. Suddenly, he noticed on the vine a plump wild strawberry. He plucked it and popped it in his mouth. It was incredibly delicious!

I may not have known these copyrighted concepts before but this has always been my way. I hate to complain. I hate to whine. That’s because if I can do something about it, I feel that I just have to do it. Otherwise, just understand that that’s the way the environment is. The world may never meet my expectations and it’s not supposed to. It’s a set of random things that keep evolving – human and otherwise. How I deal with the expectations of the world is all in the way I respond to my environment. I must say, it is so much fun doing that. It’s like a strategy game. You make your moves. You feel like you’re range of control keeps increasing as you get better at it.

How’s it for you? Is your circle of influence closer to your circle of concern or is it expanding?

Andre Agassi: I’m a big fan of Andre Agassi. I liked his style before I learned that he had substance too. In 1992, I was watching and cheering him all the way to the finals of the Wimbledon. He was unique. He was a crowd puller and an entertainer than a tennis player and athlete. He was much more human when you compared him with others in his league. His Wimbledon win against Ivanisevic in the finals was a victory of mankind over machines. Was he the first male tennis player to cry in the court? Surely must be one of the rarest. I loved his pony hairstyle and wished I had something like that. Did try that too!

Jose Mourinho: He could very well be the odd one out in the list. He is special because he can be the odd one out in any group. People would describe him as successful, intelligent, objective, sharp-tongued and down-to-earth. That’s what he is. Even his biggest fans would also admit that he is brash, arrogant, cheeky and cunning at times. You just don’t mess with Jose. For me, he is a symbol of confidence. He is very good and he knows that he is very good. He walks as much as he talks. He is the most successful young manager in the world of football management dominated by older pros. His success was built primarily on his people management and his analytical methods. He was the reason why I started following Chelsea FC. Legend.

Mahatma Gandhi: Unbelievable. To live his life the way he did, is just impossible. He must be one of the best leaders ever to have lived. It’s not very easy to lead a mass of 300 million with a principles of non-violence and truth. With masses, the psychology that easily works is that of violence and revenge, not non-violence, truth and patience. I have the highest regards for his principles and the way he united people for one common cause. I wonder how he made millions believe that ‘satyagraha’ is the right way to achieve independence. Do you know that he had once listed down seven social sins – politics without principles, wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, and worship without sacrifice. Albert Einstein once said that generations to come will find it hard to believe that such a man lived ever in flesh and blood and walked upon this earth. There is no better summary of Gandhi’s life than that one.

Sachin Tendulkar: I think I was his cousin or a brother in my previous birth. I love this guy so much. He’s a genius. He’s gifted. He’s supremely talented. I feel privileged to have been a contemporary of Sachin Tendulkar. No one has entertained me like Sachin Tendulkar has. I was not alone in turning up, tuning up and waking up only because he was playing. For the kind of adulation he receives in India, it’s hard to play and live like he has. Incredibly level headed, humble and mature, he is a symbol of consistency. He is a phenomenon. He is an era. He is a great role model. That quote of Einstein on Gandhi holds good for Sachin Tendulkar too.

A.R.Rahman: Genius. Consistent. Mature. Level headed. Humble. Sounds like the paragraph on Sachin Tendulkar, isn’t it? I love Rahman for the same reasons that I mentioned for Sachin. The thing I’m very highly impressed is the way he keeps on bettering himself even though he is the best in his league. Every time I listen to a great album from Rahman, ‘I’d be thinking this is his best yet’ and I’ve thought this way more than a dozen times. He is just unbelievable. The era in which he is making music is entirely different than the one where some of our greats had made music. He has already revolutionised music in India and he has a long way to go. I feel privileged to realise that I could still be listening to Rahman’s new smashing music even after 10 years!

Frank Lampard: When he ends his footballing career, he could very well be the best Chelsea player in the club’s history. That’s no mean feat. He is pretty similar to A R Rahman in his personality. He has achieved so much and has many more years left in him to achieve more. The dedication and professonalism that he still shows is incredible. He must have been one of the most underrated and jeered/abused player of his league. He doesn’t care about the criticisms and just goes on to prove them wrong, season after season. I’m sure he won’t stop until the whole football world accepts his genius. Another fantastic role model.

Vijayakrishna: Yup, it’s me. I think I’ve been an inspiration for myself and I thoroughly enjoy being myself. Nobody knows me as much as I know. So I’m the most capable and competent person to talk about how inspiring I have been for myself. No matter how expressive you are, you’re not even going to express half of what you actually are and that’s that half that other people would understand, mistake, like, hate, admire, despise, adore, ignore you. No one will ever know what’s their in the other unexpressed half in me. I’m very proud about how I have lived my 30 years. I admire myself. I’m sure you do that to yourself. It’s a different matter if you want to admit that or not!

If you don’t know any of these names (except mine . . .), just help yourself with google/wiki. I’ll do a bit of analysis for you. Out of these 7 personalities, four are sports personalities, one was a spiritual/political leader, one musician and myself. I think that pretty much respresents me.

It has happened to me, many times. There are places in different countries where I felt that I’ve been there before. It’s not all that cinematic that I could find my way through the gullies and canals. It’s just that in certain places, you get this feeling that ‘I’ve stood in this very place and have looked at this image in front of me, but don’t know when’. By definition, it is an ‘already seen’ feeling. Some sense of familiarity. There were many occasions when I thought I’ve had this very discussion before, this statement, this laugh, this posture, this set of people, this time of the day, this very place and all together. Sometimes they are interesting, some time they are downright scary.

How would you explain this? I see that this is being explained from various angles. There is this convenient explanation that says this has something to do with a mental disorder. That’s a bit lazy to call it that way. Even dreams would then be a case of mental disorder. Also, as far as I know, most of the people I’ve talked to on this topic have said that they have experienced deja vu. You don’t have so many people walking around with mental disorders. The world’s not so bad.

There is also this sub-conscious memory angle. Some believe that the deja vu feeling you get is from your own memory. If during my first visit to London if there’s a place where I get this feeling that I’ve been there, that’s all from my own deep lying memory. The conscious memory records all your real life experiences that you’re part of, things that you experience, read, see and hear. If you had seen something in your dream and if you forget the dream when you wake up, that piece of recording goes out of your conscious memory and stays within your sub-conscious memory. When in real life, if you get to see one of those places that you had seen in your dream, in a flash, your conscious memory and sub-conscious memory meet to make that connection. Guess I’m making sense.

Some even extend this to say that the memories of your previous births are also hidden deep in your mind and the deja vu moments are the ones where your mind googles the current image and finds a match from your archives of previous lives. It doesn’t make sense for someone like me who does not believe in previous births or lives. Anyway, these sub-conscious memory rationale doesn’t explain how I get the deja vu feeling when I’m talking to a bunch of people. How could this situation be recorded in any part of my memory? This is an event and not an image. This event of discussion is just happening or unfolding as I get this feeling that I’ve had this very chat before. What could this be?

I’ve thought about this and I’ve given up too. It’s a strange phenomenon indeed. What is your understanding or explanation of deja vu? Have you had any such moments? I’ve had a lot of those deja vu moments. Many a time I also pause and freeze to fully realise that. I’m sure you’d have had yours too. The next time I do get a deja vu, I’d get back right here and update you. Wait a moment, do you think you’ve read exactly a post like this on deja vu on this very blog some time back? You’re being ‘dejavued’.

Project Critical Thoughts

Problem definition: Of late, the client has not been blogging much on Critical Thoughts. What started with many blogs a week had to be reduced one blog a week upon feedback and now the last blog was about a month back. This results in an onslaught from the millions of regular readers and they demand more frequent blogging. Client needs a practical, scalable solution that would put the blog back on track.

Goal statement: To create solutions that would help me blog much more frequently – at least weekly.

Possible causes: (List down all those possible causes that would result in similar situations. This may or may not apply for the stated condition.)

a) Lack of time: The time that’s available for blogging has considerably come down since the client’s daughter started going to school. This may not have to mean that he’s putting in an awful lot of efforts to send her to school everyday. Client’s mid-night awakening behaviour is also undergoing a change which leaves time only during the weekends.

b) Domestic activities: Client does have multiple interests and is pretty active in all his interests such as blogging, gaming, reading, television, socialising and shopping (not of self). Clients has very little control of some of the activities that take bulk of the time. There are too many domestic activities which leaves more sophisticated activities such as blogging down the list.

c) Multiple blogs: Client does have two blogs including this one, the other blog being the more dominant one. Because the other blog is the flagship blog of the client, whatever time is available for blogging acitivity is being spent on that blog.

Possible solutions: (List down all solutions and recommendations that address the causes or help the goal)

a) Short posts: The client himself is a strong proponent of short posts. He can post short blogs with a couple of paragraphs or so. What’s important is the stance of the blogger which would trigger the debate and discussion in the comments area. Short posts are a viable solution.

b) Multimedia posts: The time factor is key when the posts have to be text-based. It is market practice to post blogs with images and vidoes that contain the message that the blogger wants to send across. As we know, a picture speaks a thousand words.

c) Mobile blogging: If the time in front of the computer is a rarity, the client can use his mobile. With a no-limit internet connection and high tech mobile, moblogging is a very practical solution. This would be especially useful during long shopping sessions or prolonged family events.

d) Reclaim time: Client must find ways to reclaim his time so that they can be spent on blogging. For instance, if he appoints a driver for his car, he could reclaim about 2 hours a day that he can spend on blogging while in the car. This would also help him given his driving skills.

Final recommendation: We suggest the client that while he must attempt to reclaim his time by eliminating wastage, he must attempt to write short posts or multimedia posts, and use the mobile phone much more effectively.

This is exactly why we need consultants. They come up with entirely new ideas which we were always aware but were lazy to implement. They help us with these ground breaking solutions that are picked up from our own past history and renew our interest in these ways of resolving the problems.

Critical Thoughts now stands revived.

On a nice Saturday morning, when made myself comfortable on the couch while booting up the footie in the xbox, my mom tells me that I have to go to the ration shop today. I was like ‘sorry, come again?’. I was very sure that it was not for buying anything from the ration shop because they know that I’d buy it at a premium from outside than visiting a ration shop. I realised that it was something administrative and since I’m the head of the family as per the ration card, I had to go. I finished my coffee and wore the most unatractive, unflashy of all clothes as we set out for the adventure.

We took an auto as we knew it was about 2 kms or something and I would not take my car for such short distances. While inside the auto, I just checked with my mom on why exactly are we going to the ration shop. She told me that the bills are going to be computerised soon and our ration card number and other details have to be captured in a register by the staff and signed off by the head of the family. I didn’t get it because the ration card I have is a computer generated one and that should normally mean they would all the data in their systems somewhere. I parked my logic aside and got on with the work.

We reached the ration shop. It didn’t have a big neon board but it did have something that characterises a ration shop. It had long queues. I said ‘queues’ because there were these primary queues for men and women separately and there were these secondary queues which may not be long enough to be called queues but serve the same purpose. I stood in the men’s queue and told my mom to wait in the shadows of the minimalist temple that was opposite to the shop.

Standing in a queue is never fun. In some places, they understand the psyche of the people in the queue and do something about it. But here though, the queue is practically on the road and it was about 11am in the morning which did not improve on the experience. There were some really really nasty arguments and quarrels from the women’s queue. That was the only piece of entertainment. The experience can be better if the wait is worth it. I know standing here is not the same as waiting in the queue for an Apple ipod on the launch day.

While it was about 25 minutes in the queue, I heard someone say that the process of ‘entry in the register’ as they call it, would happen only for the card numbers upto 1500 and the others should come ‘some other time’. I quickly checked my card, mine was way above 3000. I did not want to waste single minute there if I’m not going to be serviced. I tried to look for some announcements or some stuff around where it gives these details. I wasn’t surprised, there was none. There is no way I could check with the staff in the shop because from where I was I couldn’t even see whether there is anyone inside and if yes, how many. My best chance was to ask the gentleman was ahead of me in the queue. He confirmed so confidently that they would do for all card numbers. That eased me a bit. From then on, I tried to peep into every serviced customer to see if their card number is beyond 1500. But I failed.

The queue experience is never going to be complete without an infiltration. When I was nearing the final third, this 50-something man was suddenly standing so very closely to me. And he was talking as if he is the uncle of the man before me and the father of the boy behind me. I knew that before I could realise he could take my place and he is not someone I would like to reason. That’s when I had to be very tactical, in terms of my movements, my gestures, my turns and man, it was so subtle that it is probably an art as much as queue infiltration.

I got really closer to the service desk that I can ask the staff if they service cards beyond 1500 that day. As I got closer to the desk, I could see the kind of customer service and client focus that was in display. That kind of made me think ‘what’s the point in asking him now. anyway i’ve stood in the queue for an hour. it’s just a few minutes more’. I waited for my chance. The staff were very cold in their approach and had only one thing in their mind – to get rid of these bastards in the queue so they can go home. Some of the interactions would make you wonder who is the customer here? Customer is king? Then that staff must be the queen.

Finally, it was my turn. The staff looked at my card and turned the register towards me. It was a manually pre-numbered accounts register. They had pre-numbered the register only upto 2295. I thought, don’t ever think of telling me to go back for this bloody reason. He was in a thinking mode. No, don’t even reject me. I’ve stood this fuckin queue for about an hour in hot sun among the people I’d not share my life boat with. I think he got a brilliant idea then. He struck the card number on my ration card and wrote 2295 instead. He’s a fuckin genius! He got my mobile number and then updated the details in the register in the 2295 column and asked me to sign. Despite being a chartered accountant, I didn’t quite know why I was signing. Anyway, if that was to signal the end of the gruelling process, I’d even sign once more.

That was it. I really wish I don’t have to go the ration shop again until and unless they put aircons, make the staff more courteous, provide more clarity of the process, reduce the queue time by 90%, introduce e-ration shop etc. In other words, I’m not going again.

Back in school, it’s a sick advantage if you’re name starts with the last few alphabet. Mine being ‘V’, I always had this leeway being a bit late to the class and still getting my attendance marked. I pity that guys Aakash. On the other hand, when it comes to announcing the test results and handing over the test papers, I always had to go through the suspense and thrill as I see names fall one by one.

Vijayakrishna is not a difficult name to remember, read or pronounce. But it’s not a very common name. The thing with uncommon names is always that people would call you with the nearest common name without even caring how annoying it is for the one addressed. All through my school and college, very frequently I’m called ‘Vijaykumar’ because that’s easy and lazy. Everytime I introduce myself I make it a point to say ‘Vijayakrishna’. While I’d love to be called Vijayakrishna, I can say almost no one calls me so. From family to friends to colleagues, I’m just Vijay. The name Vijay is a bit boring. It’s a name of million others. But I’ve made this compromise long back.

I hate when people call me anything other than Vijayakrishna or Vijay. I get wild when people call me Vijaykrishnan or anything like that. It’s even worse when it’s written. People always take the liberty of chopping and chewing your name because they think it’s insignificant. They think, as long as they look at you and speak to you, it doesn’t matter if they get your name wrong. It’s plain negligence and lethargy. Why don’t you call me Mr.President when you’re looking into my eyes?

I particularly hate when people put a space in my name. For decades, they have been falling into the same pitfall. It’s a single word Vijayakrishna. It’s got no spaces in between. It should have an A between Vijay and Krishna. It does not end with a N. It’s really simple. I know that the pronounciation may differ from person to person but it’s certainly not hard to look at how I write my name and make an attempt to read it the way it is. It could be really annoying if your name is spelt the wrong way and that’s how it appears in all your records. I simply cannot stand it. The only variation to my name that I accept and like is ‘vjkrishna’.

I know some people who don’t really like their names. May be its not very strange. Names are just like faces, bodies and such stuff. Some may like to have a sharper nose or green eyes. At least, you can change your name as you want, if you’re willing to go through the administrative difficulties. I’m certainly not talking about nameology or numerology. I don’t want to write my name Vyjaiacrrichna because it adds up to something. Names do have character. Names are also personal. One might love his/her name, take pride in his/her name and be very particular about his/her name. People who are not mindful of this don’t impress me much.

What started as a post has ended as a rant. Anyway, rant is over.

Sometimes people follow certain things not because they believe in it. May be they follow just because they are superstitious about it. Well, there are two terms – belief and superstition – which go very close to each other and can be misunderstood for each other based on from which side you’re looking from. Let me clarify like this. You can truly believe that certain days are auspicious and certain days are not. If you wanted to do certain things only on auspicious days just because it has worked everytime for you, may be you can call it superstition. The thin line here is, you might want to do certain things only on a Friday because you think it has always worked for you. Then again, it might be called supersitition.

They way I define it, belief should have rationale – for instance one might believe in auspicious days because he believes that the daily movements of planets have an impact on the earth and its inhibitants. Whereas superstition is just blind and irrational. Even preferences and choices can be blind and irrational, or just subjective to put it gently. I can wear my white shirt for every important occasion because I like it or because that would look good on me. That’s choice or preference. But if I wear that white shirt because it brings me good luck, that is supersitition. The dangerous thing with superstitions is that it sometimes borders on obsessive compulsive disorders (OCD). But I’m talking here only about the lighter ones.

I have beliefs as well as superstitions. I can talk to you very proudly about my beliefs because they are backed by rationale. The superstitions can be a bit embarrassing because they are stupid and baseless. The funny thing is, I very well know that they are stupid and baseless but I just do them. May be, that best explains superstitions. It’s also embarrasing because we think we are very rational, objective and thoughtful and then come up with some nonsense as supersititions. I have a superstition that full moon day is always the best day of the month for me.

We love to hear the superstitions of each other because they can be unique and they can be funny. I’m not planning to give you the exhaustive list of my superstitions but I can give you one. Ever since I heard (15 years back) that Sachin Tendulkar wears his left side of his kits first, I’ve just been following it. Sachin always wears his left shoe before wearing his right one and same with socks, gloves and everything. Strangely, even I’ve been wearing my left shoe or sandal first before wearing my right ones. That’s harmless anyway because you would wear them in a gap of few seconds so it does not really catch anyone’s eyes or look ridiculous. In other words, it’s not the same as not changing your posture on the chair because keep scoring.

What kind of superstitions do you have? Do you always wear your watch on the right hand so you can get the movie ticket? Or do you watch cricket standing because your team is on a rampage and you don’t want that to stop? Or you always carry your lucky handbag so you can get a job? We might even find out that some of the superstitions are not, after all, unique. Tell us more.

I’ve always been like that. If I want something I just buy that. But the good thing is I don’t want so many things. And I never buy anything beyond my means. If something that’s very very affordable for me, all that it matter is if I want that. I need no reason, rationale or any such thing to make a purchase. Many a times, it looks completely arrogant and stupid but I just buy if I want to.

That also means that I do very less background work before I end up making a purchase. Sometimes I just google around too much to convince myself that I’m taking a very well informed decision but the fact that they matter only if I’m undecided. Or basically all I want to do is to find supportive arguments and positive vibrations. If I’ve pretty much decided to buy anything, I don’t care how many negative reviews the product has got nd why people run miles away from this product. I know looks are deceptive and all that. What clicks for me is not the looks, but also the X-factor that makes me think that I should buy it.

Many have called me an impulsive buyer. But I think I’m an intuitive buyer. I make instant judgments which always come correct. You can say that I have the eye for such things or simply say that I’m either incredibly lucky or I have psychic powers. As I look around my drawing room, I see that every damn thing that I’ve bought have been bought with ‘let me buy it’ style of shopping. May be that’s one reason I just don’t spend too much time for shopping. I just come, I see and I purchase.

If that looks like too much financial freedom for a married man, I must tell you that it doesn’t come that easily. You should know how to get your way around. I’m sure you know it all – repetitive references, building up the need, display of desparation, offer of sacrifices so on and so forth. As I said, I never try to go beyond my means, which prevents a lot of convincing around.

In a way, I can say that I pamper myself. I don’t deny myself anything that I want and I can get. Everyone has this little boy or girl in them, who makes them wish, desire, adore and long for little things and big things. And there is also this responsible and cautious (boring) old man or woman in us who keeps reminding us how expensive it is or why we can certainly live without it. I’d say I let the little boy rule over the old man every single time.

Why do you need a new laptop? What’s wrong with this? Didn’t you buy this Sony Vaio for 70k and said that this is all you needed? Don’t go around wasting money if you don’t know what to do with it. Invest money, buy jewellery, buy assets or at least save money for a rainy day. What does a Mac give you now? All that you do is browsing right. You’ve got your DVD player and TataSky plus for movies, you’ve got XBOX 360 for gaming and you don’t work at home and all that you’ve gonna do with your comp is just browse the net and this Sony Vaio is more than enough for that.

Er . . I want that, so I’m buying that.

Buying toys for a three-and-a-half year old can be quite difficult. Today, I went to this mall with an intention of ‘let’s buy her some new toys’. As I entered the floor the first thing I saw was loads and loads of board games. Anything that comes with a ‘rules of play’ is not going to be of any use for her. Rules mean nothing to her. We are only talking about this thing called discipline. I think it will take some time to introduce the word ‘rules’. There were train sets. She is absolutely fascinated by trains. But she already has train sets of various sizes and shapes.

And then there were cars. She has cars, trucks – manually operated, battery operated, remote controlled etc. Almost everything except the ones that run on petrol and diesel. There were kitchen sets. Least interested. I’m talking about myself. Not sure about her. Guns? Same kitchen set feeling here too. How about soft toys? Well the whole of Disney family is at home. There are also their underwater friends and technology cousins. Block building? I won’t be forgiven if I buy another one of that kind. I was not planning to return empy handed anyways.

I was trying to recollect what kind of toys I used to play with. My brain said ‘your search returned 0 results’. Yup, Did I have a lot of toys? No. Was there any favourite toy of mine? No, because I cannot recollect having played with any toys or games when I was a kid. We were a struggling family back then. We had to look after our survival and needs primarily before thinking about comforts and luxuries. I guess toys would have come under the luxuries category back then. So how exactly did I spend my childhood? I think much of our time as a kid was spent in the outdoors, with the other kids, doing stuff and exploring stuff. We had probably lots of freedom which led to adventure. May be, we didn’t need toys as much as kids of these days do (that’s one sign of me growing old).

But my daughter certainly does. She needs toys, games, television, movies, music etc. She can get to see a lot of experiences but she would not have the freedom of experiencing them herself. That’s because she is always under our radar. It’s not just because she is a three-and-a-half year old but also because we’re like that. In particular I am like that. I’d buy her whatever toys and games that she wants if it means she won’t have to go out of sight. In a way, I have created this need for toys and such stuff for her. That’s sad but that’s the way it is. Nowadays (that’s another sign of me growing old), kids don’t grow up learning and experiencing by themselves. They are now left with abundance of nicely packaged second hand experiences.

I was still struggling with my choices in the toys section. My daughter was happily playing in the play area of that mall with complete confidence that I’d buy what she’d like. I did finally pick up a jigsaw puzzle, a time teller book and something else. I truly wonder what I’d be buying in the next round of purchases, whenever it comes!

We’re waiting to kick off. It won’t start until that man wants us to. No, that’s not the referee I’m talking about. I’m talking about the gamer that’s controlling us. Who’s playing us today? Ah, that’s vjkrishna. Gentle gamer. Knows his football. And he likes me too. Would always play me and never subs me. I hate to be played by players who don’t know how to use me. Vjkrishna adores me. I think I’m like his idol. He puts me in right areas and makes full use of my capabilities. But you know what, he makes me run and work. He uses me in attack as well as defence. That normally makes me tired by the 75th minute but that’s football.

Why is he not starting the game yet? What’s stopping him? Let me see. Okay, his controllers are out of batteries. He’s gone to check his daughter’s toys to see if he can quickly get a pair of batteries. The funny thing is, we’ll have to be on the pitch, in the positions, waiting for kick off until he resumes the game. That’s the case for all the players including me, Terry, Ballack, Drogba, Messi, Eto and Xavi. We’re all the same. One interesting thing is, we can stand here for ages with no impact to us, it’s only when we play we get fatigue. We’re still waiting for him to back and resume. No idea where he’s gone. The other day we waited for about an hour and suddenly the power went off. Such disappointment.

He’s back. Looks like he’s got the batteries. He is in his couch. Ok boys, we might start any moment. Oh wait, he gets up. For what? Strange. I’ve been played by him more than a thousand times and he’s never done this. If he loads us up, he’s always played the match. What’s wrong today? I see him opening the DVD closet to look for something. Is he going to watch a movie? Probably not. That closet has only games. Goddammit, he’s picking up the tennis game. The bloody new rival. Vjkrishna has always played football, every single time he’s loaded the xbox. I think so. Anyway, if he doesn’t play football on xbox, I don’t exist. I think he’s gonna pull us out of the box and load tennis. God, that must be some insult. He’s still thinking. Ah, he’s leaving the tennis game exactly where it should be – the shelf. Let’s have a kick about.

There he starts the game. I’ll catch you after the first half.

Half time. Great game so far. We’re trailing by a goal but we did dominate the game. Barca are very good but in this match, they are controlled by the AI programme and not by humans. I love to be controlled by humans. They bring the best out in me, especially gamers like vjkrishna. With the way the game’s going, I think we might turn it around in the first half. Vjkrishna has subbed Anelka and he’s bring in on Mikel. Very strange considering that we are a goal behind. Oh, he wants us to play 4-4-2. Because Mikel is in, he’s put me in the left midfield. Not to my liking. Catch you again at full time.

Final whistle. 1-2. We’ve lost. We came back and scored that equaliser early on. But Messi wreaked havoc and finally found the net at the 80th minute. We’ve lost the game. This is such an important game. Playing Barcelona at Camp Nou. We should have won or at least have drawn the match. I might just be the electronic clone of Frank Lampard but I hate to lose these big matches. But there is one big advantage I hold over my flesh-and-blood clone. I get a second chance to get things right, probably, every single time. There you go, vjkrishna is arranging for a re-match. He’s not gonna end the session until we win. We’ve never finished losers. Super Frankie Lampard! I’m sure you envy me on that one!

We want to witness these things so we can get that original experience and probably tell stories. That’s what exactly I’m doing now. On the tsunami day, if you’re a Chennaiite, you must have been in Chennai. I would have been hugely disappointed to find myself miles away from the coast on that day. When such things happen there is a tendency to witness and experience these things. That’s the top-of-the-mind feeling. That’s more to do with the natural calamities because we haven’t still figured them out yet. They are huge, they are powerful, they are unstoppable, they’re mysterious, they prove that they’re bigger than you and your scientific achievements all put together.

Being undecided on whether to believe or not, I took my motorbike and rushed to the beach. The beach was just a mile from my home. The moment I came out of my home, I realised that it had to be true. There were so many people on the road in groups, talking about what they saw, why the tsunami has come, the end of the world and all that. It was awfully unusual to find so many people on the road. When you find so many people on the road, they must be walking or moving or they must be in a procession. These people were not walking or moving. They were simply standing on the roads and talking in groups. May be, they felt more comfortable in the company of fellow humans. Natural calamities do unite people.

As I got closer and closer to the beach, I could see that there was a huge mass of people facing the beach, watching the damage and the proceedings. I parked my bike somewhere. Nobody cares about ‘no parking zones’ in these times. Such times are when no one would bother much about law and order or discipline. Discipline is for orderliness among the humans. But the humanity was under threat. At least that’s what most of them thought. Many thought tsunamis were happening all over the world on that day. Many thought there would be more tsunamis on the same day. Many thought that that would be the end of the world. It was impossible to ignore that, as per Hindu cosmology, the end of the world had something to do with water.

I managed to find my way through the mass of onlookers to get a peep at my beloved beach. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t see the beach at all. It was all filled with ocean water. The ocean had broken its boundaries and had truly entered the city. What I saw was ocean and after the ocean the main roads of the city. The ocean had come closer by more than half a mile. The beautiful sand beach was not to be seen at all. I could see the huge boats on the main road. They were washed away to that extent. The rescuers were still busy rescuing people and retrieving the dead bodies.

The marina beach had a crucial part in my life. Marina was never too far me. For about 25 years, we had stayed less than a kilometre distance from the beach. It’s hard find a Chennai boy not have played cricket in the beach. I too have played in the beach. Now I wonder how we managed to play there. There were so many teams, players, pitches and balls completely overlapping each other but still there was some method in the madness. May be it was the chaos that we liked and enjoyed. Me and my friends used to spend so much of our time in the beach also chatting, discussing, arguing and debating. During my college days and later, we used to be there almost every other evening with some or the other topic to talk about. It could range from mild-ragging one of our gang or to some serious social issues. I have some fantastic memories from the Marina beach.

I returned home dumbstruck and awestruck. That was one day when all the households were watching nothing but news channels. All those ‘I-told-you-so’ astrologers were having a field day. More doomsdays were predicted. Scientists had their say. Nostradamus was referred and every effort was made to interpret him in such a way he predicted this. I was in shock though I didn’t quite express it. It wasn’t just shock, it was some kind of unexplainable fear. There was some pain too. It was very painful to see the beach like that. It was like seeing the rubble of your house where you lived for decades. We didn’t know the beach would be back to its beauty. We didn’t know when we would be able to visit the beach again. We didn’t know if the fear of tsunami would play a part in our relationship with the beach going forward. For many days the beach was completely deserted, partly due to the police restrictions and mostly due to the fear of more tsunamis.

My father tells me that when there was a attack threat on Madras during the second world war, many landlords sold their property for throwaway prices and fled from the city. Similarly, tsunami brought the real estate prices down in the coastal regions. When there is a threat on life, money becomes a non-issue. Life is uncertain. But we go on living as if we’re very certain about our lives. We keep saying life is uncertain but don’t actually live our lives like we mean it. We realise soon enough that life being uncertain is the most certain thing.

I told you that I don’t get dreams or nightmares. But the few days since the tsunami, I got so many nightmares. The one I still vividly remember is this. I’m in the terrace of my friend’s two-storey house. The road in which this house is, is very broad and is perpendicular to the beach. From the terrace, you could see the beach and the ocean very easily. While I’m standing there road-watching, I suddenly see people running haywire on the road. There is suddenly chaos and terror. And the next thing I see is that of huge wave of water entering that road. The water level is so high that standing in the terrace I could reach out to touch the water. That image of ocean gushing towards us in that broad road submerging all the houses was the most horrific nightmare I’ve ever had. It chills my spine when I write this now!

This is a fake picture but this the closest we’d get to see a true tsunami scene. Imagine being able to see such massive waves gushing towards you and you’re watching it from the beach! Nowhere to run. Surrender and accept the truth.

If we claim that we learn from experiences, events and incidents such as these must have also taught us something. That tsunami was a clear reminder to humanity. A reminder that there is very little under our control. A reminder of how uncertain life is. There are many such reminders. They have and will come in the form of tsunamis, floods, earthquakes, fires, typhoons or even with those little things we can’t control. Let’s be aware, be reminded.

Remember typewriting & shorthand published on 15-Feb-09

Do you have those memories of the typewriting/shorthand institutes? Before the birth and death of computer institutes those were the centres of development of career and romance, not in that order. I loved shorthand but I just could not cut it in typewriting. Practice makes perfect. I’m sure it does. Otherwise, how can a typewriting institute drop-out like me can type a post in a few minutes?

Winner takes it all published on 23-Feb-09

It’s hard being a runner-up. You can say ‘winning or losing is not important but competing is’. If you say it as a winner, you’re gracious. If you say it as a loser, that might be seen as a poor excuse. Ask any loser, they’d know how important it is to win. As someone said, ‘winning is not everything, it is the only thing’. If so, spare a thought for the losers.

Critical thinking: Have we thought about our thinking? published on 02-Mar-09

Why is this blog titled as ‘critical thoughts’? What are critical thoughts? For the first week or so, I was calling this random opinions and then changed to the current title. ‘Random opinions’ was an apt title but it was sounding a bit ordinary. On the other hand, I thought ‘critical thoughts’ was just perfect and also sounds better as a title. But this post was all about the concept of critical thinking.

Playing to the gallery published on 20-Feb-09

The phrase ‘playing to the gallery’ is very commonly used in football. Sometimes you see footballers playing to please the crowd without any consideration to the situation of the game or the tactics advised by the coach. That’s when they are said to be ‘playing to the gallery’. But life is not a sport. It’s life and it’s yours. We don’t need to play to the gallery. How much we live our lives for ourselves? Or do we play to the gallery as well?

Are you game? published on 08-Mar-09

I love gaming. In fact, I’ve been a gamer for a very long time. Before I bought the computer and the xbox, I always played board games. With computers, I started playing the strategy games and some really good shooters. With xbox, it’s been football all the way. I last played a football game on xbox this morning and the next time I’d play would be tonight.

That’s it for today. I have a huge responsbility of informing all the bloggers I had tagged in the previous post. Cheers.

Why do people tag all? It’s fun, it improves blogging network, it’s fun, it’s revealing and it’s fun. So then, I’m expected to write 7 facts about myself.  There are some self-imposed rules in tagging practice. I’m in full compliance as I’ve linked to the original tagger that is Lisis, I’d share seven facts about myself, I won’t forget to tag seven fellow bloggers and I’d let them know because they may not know otherwise.

I have about 7,000 things to write about, from which I’m writing about seven. These are not the most important seven things I want to write about. These are the seven things that came to my mind when I went about writing this post. So here are seven facts about myself. Some of these are top secrets, keep them to yourselves. To the one who knew all these: you are me.

Village: I want to live in a village like place, preferably atop a mountain. A place where there are fewer people to know, fewer houses, no multi-storey buildings, sound infrastructure, beautiful roads with very less traffic, gardens everywhere, cool weather/climate and lots of greenery and lakes. I’d like to retain all the technology I would want plus my pollution-free car. I’ve seen such beautiful places. I don’t know if those people there realise that they are living in such a divine place. Life there is simple and beautiful, not hurried and hassled.

Dreams: I don’t get dreams at all. Okay, there have been some very rare occasions but I just don’t get any dreams or nightmares. Of course, I base this conclusion on my morning recollection. It’s quite possible that George Bush was trying to hang me to death because I was hiding weapons of mass destructions in my pocket and I completely forgot about it when I woke up. Most people can remember their dreams or nightmares. From that norm, I say that I simply don’t get any dreams or nightmares. Did I say that I exclude those daydreams?

Blue: I love this colour blue. When I was a kid, I loved yellow and I don’t know when I ditched yellow and started dating blue. I’m a big fan of Chelsea Football Club but that’s not the only reason why like blue. For some reason, I like blue. That does not mean I wear blue shirts and pants with a blue underwear beneath. Sitting at home, I’m looking around to see if there is anything in blue. None except my daughter’s bicycle. But still, that’s my favourite colour. That’s the colour that’s most pleasing to my eyes.

Chess: I learnt to play Chess when I was 8. There was this house in our neighbourhood which had a chess set. That family did play a lot of chess. Watching them play and getting beaten like a fool, I learnt playing chess. Over the next few years, I think I improved from being pretty decent to pretty good at chess. We didn’t have computer at home back then but I had bought my best purchase – a chess set. Then there are these books and magazines (just in case you didn’t know) on chess with which I used to re-play the moves to improve my game. I could have taken it up as a profession. I think I was at the brink. Still, I love chess and I have a special liking for premium chess sets.

Academics: I was certainly a topper material. I had my way around in studying and cracking the exams. As long as I understood what I was reading/studying, I could knock it off in the examinations. I was never a student that studied all day all night, six months ahead of the exams or something. I was always a bit lazy, never too compromising when it came to how I spent my time. But I think, over a period of time, I had developed a formula that suited me so well in my academic life. Couldn’t top anything after school because I was also growing up.

Exciting habit: Nail-biting. Whenever I watch football or cricket. Whenever I play board games. Whenever I’m reading something in my laptop. Whenever I’m thinking about the next word. Well, I don’t really bite my nails off. Let’s say, I remove nails with the help of other nails, biting may be required on a case-to-case basis. This is one habit that disgust people but they should not have a problem as long as I don’t bite their nails. I know I end up getting very ugly fingers but that’s allright as I don’t plan to stick them up on my face.

Football: The only thing I don’t do about football is, playing on the pitch. I watch football. I follow football. I read football news all the time. I play football on the xbox. I talk about football. Now, it’s a part of my life. I was a huge cricket fan once. Football has blown me over with its charm, simplicity and excitement. What would I do if I had X million dollars? I’d buy a football club.

That’s about it. Now I’m tagging seven other bloggers. Some of them I don’t know. I know their blogs but I don’t know those bloggers. Here I go:

Venky’s Diary, Accidentally on purpose, What to name it, Life is just a bowl of cherries, My quest, 18,000 rpm and Happy Lotus.

I hope to contact these people to let them know that I’ve tagged them. By the way, I like this idea of seven this and seven that. I plan to use this structure more often.

Do you know what gives you happiness? I hope you do. Otherwise, think about it today. To talk about what gives us happiness, let’s first talk about needs and wants. We all have needs and wants. Needs are what I would call as essentials for my basic existence and social status. Money is a need. Job is a need. A house or a car can also be a need. Satisfying the needs may not really give us true happiness. Needs follow Maslow’s theory of hierarchy. Once you satisfy yourself of a need, the other need is created or you create it. Needs are not wants. Wants are the expectations and desires that you as a person have for yourself. Unless you know what you want, you can never be happy.

The richest man is not the happiest man. The strongest man is not the happiest man. The most handsome man is not the happiest man. The most powerful man is not the happiest man. Even if one man happens to be the richest, the strongest, the most handsome and the most powerful, he may still not be the happiest man. Being rich, strong, handsome and powerful are all needs, temporary needs. These are needs that one may not realise as temporary needs when he has not achieved them.

Needs are those that you want ‘for your life’. Wants are those that you want ‘from your life’. Now that we have separated needs and wants, what are your wants? As we realise, needs never end. They only grow. While they are growing, think of your wants as well. What do you want from your life? How do you want to lead your life? Now compare the answers for this question with the list of needs that you have. You’ll realise that it is highly possible to satisfy your wants without satisfying your needs. Bed is a need and sleep is a want. If you keep upgrading beds without sleeping enough or realising that sleep is what you want more than the bed, it would be a sad life. For the society, you could be a grand success for only you know that you’ve wasted your life.

It’s quite important to know if we are driven by wants or needs. Needs are meant to be supporting your wants. Your wants are the purpose of your life. Your needs are supposed to help you further. Your needs don’t exist by themselves. They are there because you have certain wants. While the needs support the wants, they have no reason to exist if you have no wants. In reality, there could be people who have not identified their wants. But they would have identified their needs otherwise the society would help them identify. It is fully possible for someone to spend all their lives running behind the needs and dying without even thinking about what they actually want.

In the normal course of life, we are prepared only to handle our needs. Our education and our careers are all about handling needs. So it’s quite possible to get into this quick sand of needs and believe that’s all life is all about. Needs have no purpose by themselves. Getting rich, attaining power and reaching targets are all supposed to give you something. That’s what one must be aware of.

People who don’t identify their wants will never be happy. Because, having achieved all the needs, they would still experience that emptiness which they can’t explain. That happens when you don’t know what you want from your life. Now think of those things that make you really happy, things that give you sense of satisfaction. Exclude gratifications which are different from happiness. Gratifications arise as you fulfil a need or a desire. Think of only those things that you want from life, only those things you want others to give and you want to give to others. Once you know your wants, and once you realise that they are the very driving force of your life, needs may not even matter, let alone being very important.

For all of us, the want is to be happy. That’s for each one of us. We tend to believe that happiness comes in being more rich, more powerful and all that but the reality is happiness comes in being happy. It’s as simple as that. I want to live my life happily and spread this happiness to as many people as possible. That’s my want. My happiness comes in being happy. And I realise that unhappiness disappears when you create happiness for others. I think life is simple unless you’re bored with it and try complicating it.

That’s my philosophy in a nutshell, or in a blog entry, to be exact. This philosophy of mine is something I have concluded and realised based on understanding and experience of life. Don’t go on to try proving them wrong. Because I’m not open for logic

Whenever I saw images and pictures of Indian freedom struggle and the attrocities during that period, they used to get my blood boil. I had a strong feeling that I’d have done something worthwhile. I’d not have joined the Indian National Army. Even as a young boy I was not attracted to the Bhagat Singh / Subhash Bose type of independence movement. I think I never believed in violence. I would have certainly joined Gandhi’s movement. I always respected and admired Gandhi. He might have got a few things right and few things wrong but to lead a life he led, is a massive achievement and sacrifice.

So, as a young boy, very naively, I have even thought, ‘why was I not born in that period? i could’ve fought for India’. I’m asking myself now. Do I now think that I’d have played an active role in the Indian independence if I was born, say, in1910?

I guess not. Now, I’m very convinced that I’d not have done anything special. To participate in anything like the Indian freedom movement, you need to have many things. You should have a concern for the people, you should have a desire to convert this concern into actions, you should be willing to make sacrifices, you should not worry about the consequences, you should stop living for yourselves. I don’t think I’d have made it. Probably, I’d have comforted myself into a nice job and family and probably at best, would have been writing in favour of Indian independence.

There are always needs for such movements. Earlier, it was for freedom struggle. Now there could be a new reason. In fact, the present reasons could be much more pressing than the freedom struggle. There might be a need for a movement against corrupt politicians, a movement against inefficient public servants, a movement in favour of education, a movement against communaism – there could be so many and there are so many. Have I shown any intention to change anything that’s happening around me. No. Have I shown any signs of actively engaging myself to bring about change? No. How can I honestly say that ‘I’d have played an active role in the Gandhian movement’? I cannot.

Active role does not even mean playing a leading role. Active role is just actively participating and supporting, which anyone with a genuine desire and passion must be able to do. When someone asked me if I’d like to become a prime minister, my answer was no. I don’t want to. I might be very unpopular with such a statement but I simply don’t think my life should be spent sacrificing for others. There were so many martyrs in the freedom struggle who spent all their lives and got nothing for themselves. So many unsung heroes. I don’t think I can make such sacrifices. And I don’t want to make such sacrifices.

How many of us have the courage to quit our fine careers for the common cause? How many of us prefer IAS and IPS over CA and MBA? How many of us can spend our lives for others? How many of us can take the plunge? How many of us will stop thinking ‘what’s in it for me’? Now, how many of us would say ‘I’d have done this and that in our independence movement’?

Buddy: Did you see that news about that Indian techie in US who killed himself and his family too?
Mate: Yeah sad. Let him commit suicide but why did he kill his family?

Pal: What do you mean by ‘let him commit suicide’?
Mate: I meant it’s his life and he ended it but he had no right to take others’ lives.
Buddy: Not exactly, mate! Attempt to suicide is an offence as per the Indian laws.

Mate: That’s bad. I wonder why an attempt to suicide is an offence?
Pal: In this case this guy has killed his family too. Think about this. Lone breadwinner in the family commits suicide leaving his dependants stranded. Sounds like a crime?
Mate: No. It doesn’t.

Buddy: See if one commits suicide you can’t do anything. If he was caught attempting, he must be certainly punished.
Pal: Exactly. Such a cowardly thing to do for someone responsible for his family.

Mate: Why would you punish someone who was already going to end his life?
Buddy: Punish him because he was cruel enough to escape while leaving his family carry his baggage.
Mate: Ok, see it from this perspective. Everyone has a right to end his/her own life. Who has more right than yourself on your life? If you talk about responsibility, why just talk about attempt to suicide, while there are so many other irresponsible acts?

Buddy: Well, I kinda agree. I don’t think someone can insist me to live when I don’t want.
Pal: Then it’s kinda easy isn’t it? I live my life the way I want. I drown into loans, drink and enjoy myself and end my life when I’m stuck. Irresponsible!

Mate: See, if you talk about responsbility, is there a law that says one cannot take sanyas which also involves abandoning the family?
Pal: That’s different.
Mate: In what way? Sanyas has an absolute disregard for the family the same way suicide has.

Buddy: Okay, if I’m single and I have no dependants, will I still be caught for attempting to commit suicide?
Mate: Plus, if I have a right to live, I must have the right to die.

Pal: I got an answer. Anyone who attempts to commit suicide may not be in a state of mental balance. They can be a danger to society until they are rehabilitated.
Mate: That’s a good one. You got me there.

Buddy: Still you don’t have to charge him with a crime. Just take this guy to a doctor or a psychiatrist, why charge him under the Indian Penal Code?
Pal: But you admit that someone who has had a failed suicide attempt can be a danger to society?
Mate: I’d say they would be depressed like hell. So the most dominant feeling must be that of depression and not anger or frustration or revenge which normally result in fatal criminal acts.

Pal: Technically, the police will have to arrest someone to admit this guy into a hospital. Without an arrest, they don’t have a mandate.
Buddy: Oh then arrest is just a legal vehicle for a medical destination
Pal: I think so! But I’ve also heard of one-year imprisonment for some of them who have attempted suicide.

Mate: My stance is very simple. Irrespective of the situation, anyone has the right to end his/her life and that’s it.
Pal: I don’t agree. Attempt to suicide is a punishable offence.
Buddy: I’m not sure!

Here are couple of very simple, uncomplicated truths.

This is the story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbours came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “May be,” the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbours exclaimed. “May be,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbours again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “May be,” answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbours congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. “May be,” said the farmer.

Great story. The old man never wants to call those as events of good fortune or misfortune. Why classify them into this or that? He does not reject them. He accepts them, but without a preference. For all those things that happen to the old man, it is his neighbours who are happy or unhappy. He doesn’t care how they feel and in fact he only has a ‘may be’ feeling.

After winning several archery contests, the young and rather boastful champion challenged a Zen master who was renowned for his skill as an archer. The young man demonstrated remarkable technical proficiency when he hit a distant bull’s eye on his first try, and then split that arrow with his second shot. “There,” he said to the old man, “see if you can match that!”

Undisturbed, the master did not draw his bow, but rather motioned for the young archer to follow him up the mountain. Curious about the old fellow’s intentions, the champion followed him high into the mountain until they reached a deep chasm spanned by a rather flimsy and shaky log. Calmly stepping out onto the middle of the unsteady and certainly perilous bridge, the old master picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. “Now it is your turn,” he said as he gracefully stepped back onto the safe ground.

Staring with terror into the seemingly bottomless and beckoning abyss, the young man could not force himself to step out onto the log, no less shoot at a target. “You have much skill with your bow,” the master said, sensing his challenger’s predicament, “but you have little skill with the mind that lets loose the shot.”

Oh how I love this one! How true the master’s words are. ‘Skill with the mind’. In normal circumstances, archery was a matter of routine for the champion. It was a matter or practice and routine that it became a reflexive skill. A matter of dexterity and hand-eye co-ordination. When he was put in unfamiliar grounds, he had to control his mind, its fear and its doubts, but he could not even concentrate. Thus, he had less skill with his mind though he had much skill with the bow.

Come up with your views and comments.

Generally, what stays on top of the mind are only the strong memories that really invoke some very strong emotions. There could be so many other things that must have happened. Those things don’t come to the fore unless you make a conscious attempt to think, talk or write about it. We don’t often get to bring back these memories unless we have an opportunity like meeting an old friend, visiting your hometown, visiting your school etc. And what stays in our brain is mostly the recent memories. Recent memories always have a ‘high beta value’. Something good happens, we go overboard, something bad happens we get terribly upset. That’s not the case with old memories. Old memories invariably make us proud. Proud about how we achieved those best moments and proud about how we have come through the worst moments.

If I think of my primary school, I have about half a dozen events most of which is not worth mentioning. In my high school, dozens of stories but again most of them are of less relevance. In my college days, some very interesting events certainly worth recording. My CA days have to be half of the book. Just three years and there were clear directions in various facets – life, family and career. And then comes the office days leading up to the present days. Basically, I can talk about how I was brought up, what kind of kid I was, why some events and stuff that are still vivid and what impact they had on me, what moving around meant to me as a kid, my disappointments as a kid, my backstreet highs, what kind of school I got into, my new friends, my academics, my gully cricket and how sucked at it, my love for chess and how I had that discussion with my father that I’d be a professional chess player, how I cleared the 10th a bit uncharacteristically, how higher secondary sculpted my future career, how I topped the school in 12th and the chicken pox scare just before the exams, oh, I’d keep on going!

If you like writing and if you like to revisit your life, there is no better thing than to write an autobiography. Writing an autobiography is not the same as writing diaries or making a collection of it. A diary might record things as and when they happen. Events and views would be very current. An autobiography is a recollection. It is today’s view on yesterday’s events. I get a chance to evaluate and appreciate what I have done all along. Of course I do that as soon as things happen but more often than not, it would have the bias of the recent memory. Think of a decision that you took 10 years back. The way you evaluate and appreciate that decision now would surely be better than how you’d have done the day after the decision was made or a year after the decision was made. I’d imagine that now you’d have more maturity and better understanding of the problem or the decision than you had back then. It would be so fascinating to see how sometimes things were so right back then look so wrong now and vice versa.

Also, you cannot deny that there is this joy of re-living those memories. Nostalgia is a very common human feeling. Even if you’re having your best times, you can still feel nostalgic. The joy of or longing for re-living these old memories is what makes people to arrange for a re-union, sign up in orkut and facebook, make a trip to the home town, visit those places that you did when they were young and all such stuff. We like to recollect and re-live those moments. When I went for my daughter’s school for her admission, I went back about 15 years. Just like in the movies. Almost remembered the name of the guy who got me kneel down in the sun for couple of hours. Now what I’m pondering is if I can jot down these incidents, events, memories and later on edit, arrange and organise for a meaningful mass of text. And probably, call it part one of my autobiography!

Your autobiography could even be worth sharing. Someone could know more about you. You might end up knowing more about yourself, you never know! Truly, I think, if we set out to write an autobiography, we’d know how much we don’t know about ourselves. You might have to talk a lot about your childhood to your parents, family and friends. You might be searching for that old photograph that you’re never keen to show to others, that handwritten letter which could illegibly soiled, that trophy that you won for God knows what, that gift that you always managed to hide from everyone, that piece of memorabilia that you believe is still there somewhere. To use a cliche, you’ll walk down the memory lane. And trust me, you’ll enjoy that trip.

When I say autobiography, I don’t have a 500-page book in my mind. Just a story of my life so far, whatever number of pages it takes. What will I do with that book? I don’t know what I will do with that but I’d certainly enjoy writing it and that would be, for me, well worth the time. On second thoughts, well, I can gift it to my daughter 15 years later. Not bad, eh?

It didn’t take me too much time to realise that I can’t sleep in utter silence. Some of us are not used to silence. I was not. I’ve grown up in noisy neighbourhoods. Even at home, you always hear a voice. Silence is not really experienced. Silence is like truth. Too much of it is really uncomfortable. I realised that I needed some noise around me to sleep peacefully. Quite an irony but that was the case. So, I switched on the television and left it on a music channel at reasonable volume for a midnight. I think I was then asleep in about 10 minutes.

Even at home, we’ve got air conditioners in every living space but the fans are a must in the nights. The fans are supposed to run all day and night while air conditioners will be on and off. I’m writing this today because something happened yesterday too. I was putting my daughter to sleep in the night. My wife was busy with some work in the kitchen. While my daughter was falling asleep, I was suddenly thinking ‘why am I feeling like I’m a hotel room?’. The air-conditioner was running and the fan was off. That was it. So it was not so much about the ceiling fan. It’s about the sound of it. The fact that the fan does not leave me alone. It gives my mind some company with its noise.

Going back to the point about utter silence, how often have we got to experience utter silence? There is always some noise or sound or music that always surrounds us wherever we are. Those to some extent keep the mind busy. It helps the mind not to think anything in depth. While we are thinking about what to do in office today, we also hear the blaring horns of the truck, the radio music from the tea shop, the noise that children make etc. As we hear and register them, subconsciously we they keep our mind busy. Think for a moment that there is absolute silence around you. Or you have the remote for this whole world and you hit the mute button. In silence, 24 hours will be like 48 hours. I can’t explain you but I’m sure you can feel it. In silence, you tend to think a lot and then stop thinking altogether. It is the stage where we think a lot that we would normally find it difficult to cross.

Silence can be of many types – silence of the external world, your own outer silence and your inner silence. Contrary to public perception, these are not really mutually exclusive. Some minds can achieve inner silence even while the whole world is being bombed. For the untrained minds, it has to be a gradual process. That’s why you’re told to find a calm place (silence of the external world), and then sit quietly in a posture (your outer silence), and let your mind wander and finally stop thinking (your inner silence).

Since the world does not have a remote control, the idea of muting the world is purely imaginary. Believe me, you can mute the world as well. Because it is your ear that hears all the noise. If you choose not to hear, you don’t hear anything and you’d have muted the world. Forget muting the world, the idea of muting yourself is certainly possible. In Hinduism we have this ‘mouna vratham’ which is a ritual of silence. The less we speak the more we understand the importance of silence and also that of words. We don’t have go looking for moments of silence. But when they present themselves, we don’t have to run away from them, like I did in those abroad nights or yesterday night.

Our problem may be very simple in life; we find that we must keep doing, thinking, going, listening, running, talking or else what shall we be? We love to be filled with noise, images, words, thoughts, memories, fantasies, sensations, people, pleasures and good feelings. When these things are not, we feel bored, alone, scared and quite possibly angry and confused. The brain needs input almost continuously.

Isn’t it the case? We need to keep the mind filled with nonsense. If we don’t, the mind will go looking for the truth. And we don’t want that, do we?

My disconnect with science subjects never was a major hindrance for me academically speaking. I was still scoring decent 70s and 80s which did not threaten me too much. As you figured out, I wasn’t a dumb student. I was a ‘tiger’ in Mathematics. I was one of the brightest kids but with an evident weakness in science subjects. Why did I not get along with science subjects then?

When I joined high school (public school), I happened to get a lousy science teacher. But then that was the time the school got serious with the curriculum, exams, competition and all that. Primary school was just time pass. High school gave me goosebumps. And this science teacher was a waste of space and time. That early in high school, my parents didn’t think I need to be put in private classes. There are some teachers who teach in school like they’ve not been paid their salaries for years and when it comes to their private classes they treat you like you’re their adopted sons.

This man in the frame wasn’t even that. He simply sucked. I think he would have sucked even at watching movies, walking the dog, reading newspapers, combing his hair, buying his clothes – he’d have sucked at everything. I don’t know how the rest of the students managed. I generally had to understand in order to appreciate anything. I can still pass your exams but I wouldn’t appreciate the concepts. The only positive I saw was that he is not going to be my science teacher next year too. Our school would keep rotating teachers every year.

I moved to the seventh standard. Bingo. You’re right. Same man. Same agony. I was screaming ‘I’m wasting my time with you’. You must know what he actually does in the class. He is a very calm and quiet man. He is a very nice man all right, it’s just that he was just incompetent or indifferent. He would walk in quietly. He would take his chair. He would call one of the students near him and ask him to read aloud say, chapter 4. The boy generally happens to be the typical teachers’ pet who is always the public enemy. So he reads it aloud while we all listen to him reading the paragraphs of text. Practically no value add at all. While the boy reads, the teacher would not explain anything. He’d be vigilantly watching us like we were the pakistani soldiers across the line of control.

There was one time when he crossed his limits and gave a memorable explanation. I remember that even after 15 years. One day this public enemy was reading a chapter from biology. As always, he was reading at million words per minute. Suddenly the teacher interrupted. “Stop. Single cell is one cell. Now continue.” We were flabbergasted. This was fucking outrageous. What was he thinking? Jumping in as if we did not know what “single cell” meant and as if that was only thing we did not understand in that diarrhoea of biological words. He was breaking his own records. Luckily, we were moving on to the eighth standard. I knew that no teacher has taught the same class for three years in a row.

Did I say he was breaking his own records? Third freaking year in succession! I thought somebody hired him just to screw my education. I was very good in all other subjects. Only science was going from bad to worse. In fact, I had lost hopes. I lost all my interest in understanding the concepts. I was just trying to avoid it as much as possible. I started ignoring science. The neglect even turned into hatred and aversion. I had also tried to understand stuff myself with the textbooks and invariably ended up playing cricket.

The guys from the other sections of my class had very good science teachers all along. So those guys were pretty good in science. They were there to remind me how much I sucked at concepts of science. In the ninth and tenth standards, our section got some decent teachers but by that the damage was done. With a terribly poor foundation, the decent teachers could only paper the cracks. The pity is that, for some reason, I always thought I could have done well in Science and related subjects, if I had got the right education. I think I had the aptitude for that.

In the tenth exams, I got a respectable 81% as the overall percentage with 71% in science. In our school terms, it was a very good score. I had to then decide which group I was going to take in higher secondary – science with biology (yuck), science with computer science (grrr), commerce with economics (yawn) and commerce with computer science (wow).

There was this interview with the principal where my group will be determined. Apparently, there was a mad rush for science groups. There was a class system in groups too. The general perception was, if you scored low or if you’re dumb or both, you’d be assigned commerce group. Add to that, in higher secondary, the science group classes were moved to the brand new building in the school campus. So, commerce groups in the rotten old place. Science groups in the brand new building. They referred themselves as the ‘first group’ and that they are in the ‘new building’. Annoying.

D-day. My father accompanied me to the interview with the principal. We were waiting outside. The speed in which the queue moved said there is no discussion happening inside. You’re being stamped ‘science’ or ‘commerce’ based on your marks, potential and conduct. I had told my father that I’m opting for commerce with computer science. He had said ‘you decide’.

Our turn. We went in. After meet and greet, the prinicpal looked at the mark sheet and asked my father ‘with biology or computer science’. Knowing that my fate was in my hands, I swiftly reacted, “commerce with computer science”. He looked a bit pizzled. “You’ve got very good marks, you can get into the science groups easily”. I said, “No sir, I want commerce with computer science only”, with a strong tone of determination and insistence. He didn’t try to persuade further. He obliged. I was granted what I wanted. In the snap of a finger, I was free from protons, neutrons, electrons, potassium chlorides, inorganic compounds, molecular models, plasma membranes and the other gangsters.

I’m a qualified chartered accountant today. Thanks goes to that single-celled teacher who managed to keep me out of the evils of science subjects. It’s always comes in a package, doesn’t it? Every good might have a bad and every bad does have a good too!

This is our solar system. See how earth compares in size with other planets and Sun. Earth is a tiny dot already now. You can see how much unknown is there.

And now, this image compares Sun with the Canis Majoris, the largest known star. We just saw above that Earth is a just a pixel in comparison to Sun. In the below picture see how our Sun is reduced to dot when compared to Canis Majoris. When you see these pictures, don’t just look at the pictures. Just close your eyes and visualise and try to travel to space to see how they look. Unbelievable, isn’t it?

Check out this website. There are no texts to read. Just a slideshow of images. It starts with the comparison on Earth and moon and shows who’s the boss there. And then slowly it keeps adding planets to the same image so we can compare the sizes. Then slowly, we start adding stars from outside milkyway as well and finally end it with the comparison with the largest star known so far. Check it for yourselves.

Now tell me, do you think there would be life outside of earth? So this nicely leads us to the new feature in this blog

As a matter of procedure, they begin the proceedings by a vote to just reconfirm that they all agree about the guilty verdict. When the voting happens, by voice and by raise of hands, all but one vote guilty. That’s 11 voting guilty and 1 voting not guilty. As the verdict has to be unanimous, they all try to achieve that by further discussion. The whole movie is about how the jury arrives at an unanimous verdict. If you think that the 11 jurors would try and convince that one dissenting juror to arrive at a unanimous decision, read on.

The beauty is, it is not the 1 man (juror #8) that changes his vote to guilty, it is the other 11 men who finally change their vote to not guilty. Fantastic isn’t it? You would imagine that it must be easy for the 11 men to convince the 1 man. And that’s how their discussion starts. The one man who votes not guilty is very clear about his unclarity. He says that he is not sure if the accused is guilty or not guilty. The eviences and witness do not convince him either ways. He thinks that the benefit of doubt should go to the accused. They all think that they can convince this one man and just have this whole discussion finished soon. What happens is, that one man’s logic and reasoning makes everyone to reconsider their rationale and subsequently their decisions.

First of all, it’s a great story for a play. This movie was based on a story which made a very successful play. There are only three shooting locations in the movie. One is, the court. Two is, the juror’s meeting room. Three is, the open stairs that lead up to the court. The court scenes are for a few minutes. And the camera shot from the open stairs is for a few seconds. About 95% of the movie happens in the juror’s meeting room. It is a dimly lit small room which cannot hold more than a dozen people. The movie is all about the conversations, discussions and arguments among the jury. That also means that the camera work has to be fantastic. All that the camera would be focusing more often is faces of various jurors and the sometimes the group discussion.

In a matter of few minutes into the movie, we just realise that all these 12 people are 12 entirely different characters. They have different personalities coming from different socio-economic-cultural backgrounds. Until this one juror starts speaking, the other jurors wouldn’t even have thought that there is a need to discuss this case. Each one has their own reasons to have come to the ‘guilty’ conclusion. As the movie goes you see that those reasons range from their own bias, beliefs, prejudices and even negligence. Juror#8 strongly believes that the evidences and witnesses are not good enough to convict this boy and punish him with an electric chair death. He has no problem in being unpopular. He knows that he is the only man out of the twelve who has a different opinion but bravely and honestly and politely he makes his points and refuses to be knocked down by anything other than sound logic and proof.

That one juror (juror#8) does not say that the boy is not guilty. All that he says is that he does not think there is enough evidence to call him guilty. The underlying principle of that juror’s argument is that even criminals can go unpunished but innocents should be punished. Yes, that’s a Gandhian principle as we know. He says that he does not have conclusive proof or arguments to convince himself to say that the boy is guilty. He goes to prove how the witnesses and evidences are not good enough to give someone a death sentence.

During the process of the discussion, the members of the jury, one by one, not only admit they were wrong but also realise why they had come to that hasty conclusion. It ranges from bias to gross negligence to utter disregard to the life of accused individual. Not many of the jurors actually care too much about the accused boy. Deep in their hearts they think that it’s okay even if they’re wrong about their verdict. So what if the world has one slum boy less? The same bunch of jurors would have handled this verdict lot differently if the accused was say, a senator. Whereas the juror #8 looks at this case objectively and goes by one of the important premises of the justice system that all are equal in the eyes of law. As the discussion goes on, voting is taken at various intervals to see where the jury stands. With every voting opportunity, we see that juror #8 has more and more people supporting him and starting vote no guilty. Some of them even openly admit they were wrong and more importantly, why they went wrong.

I was particularly impressed with the way the character of the juror #8 is depicted. It is very easy to show him as the hero, the saviour. But his character stays true all through the movie. He does feel proud that he convinces people. He does not even feel happy. He goes on and on until there is a unanimous not guilty verdict. He does not count his conquests because he does not think so. At the end of the discussion, he only feels no sense of satisfaction that justice is delivered. When that is achieved, they all leave the room and so does he. Juror #8 was just one of the juror who thinks that he must perform his duties and responsbilities as a juror with diligence and principles. He does not think he is a hero or something by convincing everyone around the table. He just thinks that it’s just the part of the process to achieve the group objective of unanimous verdict.

Juror#8 does not know the accused personally. But still that does not stop him from arguing for him passionately for the sake of justice. It is quite natural to think that whatever one does a result or a fruit is expected, sometimes we can’t be patient for the fruit. In this case, the whole discussion that happens inside the room is not known to anyone outside the room. The boy who finally gets released does not even know that it was only juror#8 stood between him and the electric chair death. After the jury’s verdict, they all go back to their own lives. The fantastic efforts of Juror#8 is undocumented and he gets no credit for that. The thing is he does not expect any credit for that because as far as he is concerned he has to do justice to his role as a juror, without caring about whether he gets the publicity for that or not. Juror#8 is one of the most inspiring characters I have even seen in movies. The reason why I keep calling him juror#8 is because the names of the jurors are not mentioned in the movie!

If we start analysing the case in the movie to conclude if the arguments are valid or if the boy is really guilty, we’d have lost whole point of the movie. It’s not about the case. The witnesses and evidences are for the jurors and not for us who are watching the movie. For us, what we need to appreciate is the courage of the one juror, the courage of the other jurors to change their original verdict, the courage of the other jurors to admit why they went wrong, the passion of the juror #8, the noble thought and efforts of the juror#8 which does not expect any personal gain. So, please don’t go analysing the case but just stick to how the discussion evolves and concludes.

This movie was released in 1957. This is a black and white movie that runs for 96 minutes. If you have not watched this movie yet, tonight is a good time. All I can say is, they don’t make movies like this anymore!

Friend: So what’s your Zen saying?
Me: What?

Friend: Zen. You follow Zen, right?
Me: Yeah, I think I do, as much as possible.

Friend: But what does that say?
Me: What do you mean what does that say?

Friend: A religion must say something right?
Me: Okay I get it. For starters, Zen is not a religion.

Friend: What is it then?
Me: It is a way of life. A philosophy. But tell me something.
Friend: What?

Me: You’re a hindu right?
Friend: Yeah, you know that. I’m a religious person.

Me: What does Hinduism say?
Friend: What do you mean what does it say?

Me: As in, a religion must say something right?
Friend: Well, I’m sure it does say something but . . .

Me: You don’t know?
Friend: Hinduism is a great religion and the oldest too. There are these vedas, epics and puranas.

Me: That’s all right but I was just trying to know how much you know what your religion says.
Friend: I may not know enough but it’s a great religion.

Me: How did you end up following Hinduism?
Friend: What kind of question is this? I’m a born Hindu. Mine is a Hindu family.

Me: So you’ve inherited your religion. You haven’t chosen your religion as such.
Friend: I think that’s very normal.

Me: To inherit is normal. To continue with that or know more about that is your own choice.
Friend: Whether I know or not, I do follow. That’s called faith.

Me: How come you say that you follow a religion and you don’t know what it says.
Friend: What’s the big deal?

Me: Religion is all about beliefs right? You don’t know what it says but you have the belief. You believe something that you don’t know?
Friend: Hey hey, hold on. We do a lot of things that we may not fully understand.

Me: Is that a comforting thing? I’d say it’s even worse to say that there many such things.
Friend: But that’s the way it is.

Me: Do you know what’s the difference among Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism and Jainism?
Friend: No, I don’t. Why do I have to know about all those religions. I’m a Hindu and I’m fine with that.

Me: What’s not fine is that you don’t know what Hinduism says. It’s ok if you don’t know about the religions that you don’t follow. But Hinduism?
Friend: As I said, it’s not natural for us. Honestly we don’t want to spent too much time on that.

Me: Don’t you think religions have become like political parties. You know that they’re supposed to have different ideologies. You know they are different. You don’t what exactly their policies are. In reality, all that you see is they behave differently. But you still vote.
Friend: There’s a reason why we are where we are . . (smiles)

Me: Today, religion is all in practice and behaviour and hardly anyone cares about the theory.
Friend: Okay. Now what are you trying to achieve?
Me: We’ve got the signal. Let’s go. You think we’ll be late?

You drive a car and you ride a bike. To say that ‘I ride a bike or he rode a bike’ does not come naturally to me. So I might just use ride and drive interchangeably. So, wherever I say drive I mean taking control of the operation of the vehicle

I don’t even remember now what we had told our families about our biking to Cuddalore. Probably, I’d have told my parents that I’d only be a pillion rider and my cousin would have said something in those lines at his place. My parents very reluctantly okayed the idea purely because they know I’ll somehow find my way. It wasn’t actually an ‘okay’ as such. It was more of ‘I advise you not to go. It’s upto you’. Of course we had got dozens of advices about this trip and we ignored some of them, including that of my parents. The fact that we were a bit careless about the plans and preparations made the trip all the more interesting. Execution as per the plan could give us satisfaction but not excitement. If we were so well planned and executed the plan so well, we may not have quite enjoyed the trip.

Both of us had Hero Honda Splendors but we had tuned them to our styles and methods. Since my cousin is a veteran of many bikes, we thought we’ll use my bike for the trip. We also took just one helmet as we thought that must be just enough. We started at 9 in the morning. To start a 200km bike trip on a March morning was not such a great idea. We agreed to swap the duties every half hour. I say duties because the pillion rider too has responsibilities as much as the rider. As a pillion rider, one needs to help the tilt and balance of the vehicle, put some sense into the rider whenever required, keep an eye on the things a rider may not normally have and such stuff. Naturally, both of us loved bike riding which meant neither stuck to the half hour limit.

Onward journey was all fine except one minor incident. It had to be when I was driving because he drives far better than me. In the ECR, you normally see all these road signs like ‘accident zone’, ‘dangerous curve’ and all that. I had negotiated quite a number of ‘dangerous curves’ only to realise they weren’t so dangerous at all. Then came the next one. I under-estimated that one. Because, my estimate was based literally on the ‘track record’. I was driving at 90km/hour and my cousin too failed in his duties as a pillion rider. I just realised that I was going straight at 90km/hour while the road is curving sharply. Some terrific presence of mind with some lightning quick hand-eye co-ordination averted a big danger. The bike skid outside the road a bit and both of us had controlled the bike with a level head. Near miss.

We reached Cuddalore via Pondicherry. Spent a night at my friends place. The next day we started at 2pm so that we don’t have to do night driving. Anything after 6pm is night driving because of no or poor street lights. We thought we could be in Chennai by 5 pm. At about 4 pm, the bike started stuttering a bit. We stopped and checked the tyres, they were fine. I just casually looked at the petrol indicator. Shock horror. Almost zero petrol. We didn’t know if the stuttering was because of the petrol but that was an unbelievable shock. We had no idea how far the bike can go. There were no petrol pumps in sight. Upon checking we were told there is one 20km forward and 15km backward and such stuff. Nothing was nearby and we ran a risk of pushing the bike for an unknown distance. I’d have agreed for half hour shifts with the first shift starting with my cousin.

The light was fading fast. We were stranded. Signals to stop the cars did not work. Now I know why they didn’t work. I don’t stop the car when a stranger signals in a deserted place. We had to think fast. Time was running out. We thought of taking the risk of using up whatever little petrol left in search of more petrol. We found out that the nearest town is Kalpakkam which was a 15 kms away or something. We went on. We had our action points clear. No over use of the clutch or gears. Maintain consistent speed. And hope. Hope that the bike lasts until Kalpakkam or near any other signs of life.

We reached Kalpakkam finally. It was a beautifully built township. It reminded me of Neyveli. The township exists all because of the Kalpakkam atomic power plant. I could see that it was a modern town. It had nice roads cutting in right angles, no high rise buildings and plenty of green too. We started hunting for petrol in there. We were told that there is only one petrol pump that could be open that Sunday evening and even that one could be closing soon. It almost 6pm then, we had to rush. And ‘the’ petrol bunk was at the far end of the Kalpakkam town. Murphy’s law reminded. The bike started stuttering again. After tremendous efforts, we reached the far end of the town and the petrol pump was there. We did not want a sucker punch, we hoped they were open and they had petrol. Our oil exploration was successful.

By the time we returned to the ECR it was almost 7. We were a bit delayed because bugger had to smoke, we had to have some soft drinks. At 7 in the ECR, you’d see nothing. It almost pitch dark. No streetlights. All that guided us was our bike’s headlights and sometimes the reflectors on the road. Most of the distance, we didn’t know where the road ended. We had no clue if we were in the middle of our side of the road or at the cliff of the road. Because of this we had to drive at a slow speed, not more than 40 kms/hour. Every time a heavy vehicle whizzed past our tiny little bike we had to hold our hearts in our mouths. Every now and then, the high beamed headlights of the oncoming vehicles almost blinded us for a few seconds. We still had to change shifts. We took it as a serious responsibility and we truly had to trust each other, to be particular, he had to trust me which luckily he did.

We have always bitched about city traffic. At that point of time, the moment we entered the city, the city traffic was such a comfort. You felt like you’re in the mainstream. The air of security was back. Traffic jams, horns blaring everywhere, gestures and abuses – man, we’re back, we’re home! It’s a nice trip to recollect. Excitement bordering on a bit of danger. The key things were that we were prepared for the worst case scenario if we didn’t get the petrol and when we had drive in the dark, we were very determined of how to drive and how not to drive.

What am I trying to tell you with this post? Nothing. I just thought I’ll write about this today.

Opportunities: I think it can’t be a question of opportunities as they are certainly available. When I talk about opportunities I’m talking about women at large, not just Indian women. There are enough opportunities for women to get jobs in banks, companies and even politics. Creative arts require natural talent and genius which can create opportunities for the artists in the normal course of time. Are women being encouraged to take up creative arts is another question. With ‘less’ pressure to be breadwinner, I would imagine that women are better placed to take up creative arts.

Priorities: Yes, that could be different. If I’m very creative and I don’t apply my creativity beyond my realms, no one may ever get to know. As such, creativity can be applied anywhere. When they get applied in popular arts, it reaches people and creates that publicity. If I have different priorities and none of them are as popular as painting, writing, poetry, humour or music, it’s hard for me to prove that I’m a creative person too. It’s just a matter of choice about where I want to be creative.

Creativity: Is it just a matter of not being creative enough? Creativity may not have anything to do with gender. I respect statistics a lot. If creativity has nothing to do with gender, why would, even in 2009, we have less representation from women in creative arts? I know a few people who very categorically say that men are more creative than women. They say it as a matter of fact statement. It’s like saying Chennai burns like hell and Bangalore has a lovely weather. That’s how the creation is. It is not a matter of Chennai’s mistake or Bangalore’s choice when you talk about their weather. Out of the box is fine but if the box itself is very small, it may not be as out of the box as you’d like. Is their box very small? Or that’s because this is a man’s world?

I know I’ve used the word ‘creative’ a bit loosely here but I hope you get the point. To further the point, make a list of 10 most famous thinkers, 10 most famous philospohers, 10 most famous inventors, 10 most famous spiritual gurus, 10 most famous explorers and out of these find out how many . . .

Call up the service provider: It may not really help me, still I can try. So I tried. The number kept ringing and after half a minute I got to listen to a strange music. Phone ring sounded sweeter. And the music went on. Nothing else happened. I hung up. I tried again. After a couple of rings someone picked up the phone and banged the phone down. Not my idea of customer service. I kept trying. Finally, I got to listen to the live voice of a human being. He informed me that I’ve dialled the wrong number and directed me to another number. I was puzzled. I had dialled the same number I’ve been dialling for internet problems. Anyway, I consoled myself that number might have changed. I called this new number. Guy at the other end told me that I should be calling a different number which happened to be the number I originally called. I gave up.

Try to fix the problem myself: It’s true that you don’t necessarily need to go the himalayas to get a humbling experience. While I was trying to fix this internet problem yesterday, I realised that I had no clue how to fix it. First of all I didn’t know what the problem was. All I could do was to perform certain actions over and over again and hope that I get connected. So I restarted the laptop. Nothing happened. I restarted the modem. Still nothing happened. I disconnected and reconnected the phone cord. No signs of internet life yet. I even allowed windows to diagnose and repair the problem. But it did neither and left me where I was. I didn’t know what else to do. I was helpless. I was wasting time. I gave up.

Go for a workaround: I remember that I can use my Nokia N95 as a modem and have my laptop connect to the internet via my mobile. I needed to have an application installed in the laptop. Fine, I think it must be there, oh wait, didn’t I uninstall it when had nothing else to do? I did. No problem. I can re-install the application with the CD that came with the phone. Problem. I have no clue where that CD is. I have the laptop, the mobile, the chord that connects them both but what I don’t have is the application or the CD. Why can’t I simply magnify what’s on the mobile screen into a laptop screen with the help of bluetooth or rednose? May be I’m a decade ahead of our times, technologically speaking. Basically, I gave up.

Come up with a creative solution: I’ve heard about those. You run around the solution and away from it so much that you get lost and then suddenly the simplest of all workable ideas looks like a creative solution. Here it is. Open notepad. Type the stuff. Save it and send it to the mobile using bluetooth. Save it as a notes item in mobile. The copy all the text. Open mobile browser and go the blog admin area. Create a new post and paste all the text. Publish. Not bad.

Blogging is all about writing and publishing. Bulk of the time normally goes in writing. Publishing is a minute’s work. For writing, all that I need is a computer. Computers don’t think, so I need to have ideas too. To execute the ideas, I need to time to write. Time is not an issue as I constantly withdraw some time from my wife. So, ideas + computer + time = writing. Blogging = writing + publishing. Publishing what’s been written, as I said, is a minute’s work and that can happen from my mobile. I can do this every single day until my internet is fixed. Cool eh? There is a slight downside as well. Because the internet access is a bit restricted, I may not get to read stuff as well. It’s not that I write well-researched articles but it certainly helps. Also rationed internet means no pictures in blogs. I know you like text better than pictures. A word is worth a 1000 pictures. Let’s concentrate on the text, that thing in black and white, that thing the author screams.

I’m struggling for a good last line so let me just say that the normal service resumes

I don’t use bookmarks too. For my method of reading, bookmarks don’t help, striking out might. If I happen to read a part that I have read before, I must be reminded. If I don’t realise that I’ve read that before and it’s interesting, it’s worth reading again. So, no bookmarks.

I never have this habit of reading from chapter one. I don’t know why. I don’t read fiction or biographies, where this may not make sense. Any book where the sequence is very important, this may not work. Luckily, for the kind of books I read, this is an allright habit. Even with the chapters I read, my interest should be sustained by book. I never read all paragraphs painfully because I have to complete reading a chapter. Not all books maintain the tempo and interest throughout the book. That does not really impact me because I don’t mind reading from anywhere. Also, I don’t finish reading books.

In every book, there is an essence right? I try to get that soon enough. You may call it synoptical reading or something like that. As soon as I get that theme and essence, I might even suspend reading the book. The writer of the book had an idea, theme or an essence based on which he has written a book. If I well and truly think I understand that heart and soul of the book, I mentally try to write that book, not all 500 pages. Just try to imagine what I would capture in a book, if I were to write based on that idea or theme, you know what I mean?

It’s all about what you want from reading a book. What’s your objective when you pick up a book? To complete reading a book or reading the book. There is a big difference between wanting to complete reading a book and reading the book. I’m never under this artificial self-created pressure of ‘ah! 200 pages more’ or ’7th chapter is more interesting but sadly i’m only in the 2nd chapter now’. I never feel that I have to finish reading a book. Sometimes, I even think that I don’t have to read the whole book.

If you ask when will I be done reading the book that you just lent me, my answer would be ‘i don’t know’. I don’t allot daily reading time or anything like that. As you figured out I don’t have a rhythm when it comes to reading. You can call it a purely customised method of sporadic reading, slow reading, comprehensive reading and a bit of skimming. There are books that you can read very quickly. There are books that cannot be skimmed. There could be books with very good views, ideas and thoughts but unnecessarily prolonged to double the size upon the publisher’s request. And there are books where you read a couple of lines and you simply can’t proceed unless you spend time to think about those lines and completely understand the author.

My unrhythmic method of reading gives me the flexibility to read any type of books to my satisfaction. So you must have deduced that I could read many books simultaneously as well. I feel very comfortable with this method. Come to think of it, this is the way I used to read for my chartered accountancy too. Of course, ‘reading’ was one of the components of ‘study’, which included few other things like classroom sessions, test papers, examinations, training sessions etc.

There is a quote ‘you read to know that you’re not alone’. Very true for this topic. Read this piece on what American thinker/writer Mortimer Adler says about reading a book:

Adler sets forth his method for reading a wholly or primarily non-fiction book in order to gain understanding. He claims that three distinct approaches, or readings, must all be made in order to get the most possible out of a book, but that performing these three readings does not necessarily mean reading the book three times, as the experienced reader will be able to do all three in the course of reading the book just once. Adler names the readings, “structural”, “interpretative”, and “syntopical”, in that order.

The first reading is concerned with understanding the structure and purpose of the book. It begins with determining the basic topic and type of the book being read, so as to better anticipate the contents and comprehend the book from the very beginning. Adler says that the reader must distinguish between practical and theoretical books, as well as determining the field of study that the book addresses. Further, Adler says that the reader must note any divisions in the book, and that these are not restricted to the divisions laid out in the table of contents. Lastly, the reader must find out what problems the author is trying to solve.

The second reading involves constructing the author’s arguments. This first requires the reader to note and understand any special phrases and terms that the author uses. Once that is done, Adler says that the reader should find and work to understand each proposition that the author advances, as well as the author’s support for those propositions.

In the third and final reading, Adler directs the reader to criticize the book. He claims that now that the reader understands the author’s propositions and arguments, the reader has been elevated to the level of understanding of the book’s author, and is now able (and obligated) to judge the book’s merit and accuracy. Adler advocates judging books based on the soundness of their arguments. Adler says that one may not disagree with an argument unless one can find fault in its reasoning, facts, or premises, though one is free to dislike it in any case.

So how do you read? What are your habits? Tell us about your methods and styles of reading and types of books you read and how your methods and styles helps you to read your types of books.

A baby is the purest form of mankind. Unadulterated. Then the baby gets loaded with all morals, values, ideas, rituals, formalities, knowledge etc and then it grows to become a man that can fit into this society. The world that we live in, be it Chennai or London or Newyork is like this grown man. The places like Himalayas are the babies which are as pure as they arrived, devoid of any human developments or distortions. That’s what attracts me to that place. To see how life can be lived in places where you have no phone, no internet, no electricity, no pizza huts, no malls, no shops, no cinema, no banks. All that’s left there is nature and some forms of lives. I can bet that it could be an unbelievable and unforgettable experience. I don’t think there can be a more humbling experience than this one where you look like a sand in a beach. Imagine if you were one of the people in the below photograph. You’ll be an ignorable dot in the massive himalayas.

The biggest challenge is to travel into that unknown. We can have our expectations based on the stories but the actual experience could be quite different from person to person. What one needs to be aware is that this expedition involved risk. The temparature could be in the negatives, water could be frozen, you need to eat what you get, no one might understand your language, your fatigue can end your trip or can even end your life.

I want to go there. I cannot force my folks at home to join me. I don’t think it’s wise. This whole expedition demands a lot of physical exertion. Step one to be able to do this is to persuade my wife and my parents that I’m going. The expedition is for about 15 days which includes the travel from Chennai to Delhi to mountain base at Dehradun and back. So that means going offline with your family, friends, colleagues, office and business for about 15 days. So persuasion for acceptance should happen first.

Now, the most important question. Who would take me there? I don’t know anything about himalayas and trekking there. I don’t even know where to start. All that I have is the desire and will to go. There are lots of agencies that organise himalayan expeditions and take people as groups. One such group is Youth Hostel Association of India (YHAI). They do it as a service and charge a minimal fee for a trip of this significance. Money wouldn’t be too much of a concern. The total cost involved is not beyond Rs.10,000 and most of it is spent on train tickets to reach Delhi and charges to reach the base. The organisers take about Rs.3,000 for arranging, organising and conducting the expedition. Anyway, there is little worth for money as you climb up so all that you spend would be when you’re at Dehradun and not beyond.

It would be real adventure. I’ve spoken to people who’ve personally experienced it. As with any adventure, there are risks. When you’re trying to reach a height of more than 12,000 feet from the sea level, you can’t do it like walking the dog. You need to climb, trek, cross rivers, pass through bridges, walk through streams, get past snow capped hills, dense forests and withstand very gutsy cold winds. The expedition that starts with a 30-member group might end with a 20-member group at the highest point because many people to give up in the middle and prefer to make a return. The group would be accompanied by a good number Sherpas, the local community who are experts in climbing and trekking. They are practically our life guards who can help, guide, support or even carry us if required. Generally, the ratio of Sherpas to participants would be 1:4 which spells safety.

To desire to climb the himalayas is not sudden. I have always wanted to do it since my college days. May be I wasn’t strong willed enough back then to really give it a go. That’s why I say I now have not just the desire but also the will. Does this mean I’ll pack my bags next week? Not really. I may not even do it this year. Certain things will have to fall in line – home, office etc. But I would certainly do this once in my life. My wish is to go before I get so old that my body becomes a burden for me to be able to do this to my satisfaction.

I’m sure I’ll be there one day. I’ll be here to tell the tale as well.

I’m an XBOX 360 gamer. I play only football games in the console. For those who don’t know, XBOX 360 is the the set-top-box-like equipment that’s connected to our television. There are various consoles in the market such as XBOX 360, Playstation 3, Nintendo Wii etc. The games such as football, cricket, war simulations etc come in DVDs. You put the game DVD into the XBOX 360 and the game plays on television. How do we control the happenings on the TV screen? We have wireless controllers, unique to XBOX 360, which has various buttons each of which can be configured for each type of game that we play.

I do play for about 6 hours every weekend and sometimes play even in the weekdays. Why am I playing football games on XBOX 360? What do I get out of this? I think it’s amazing fun. It is addictive. It is harmless. How often you get to get hyper-joyed? How often do you get to laugh your lungs out so much that you cry tears? How often do you get to do something that keeps your focus and concentration well above 100%? When was the last time you did something with no sense of time or place? How often do you feel so light and feel completely chilled out? What if you get to experience all this together?

Gaming does require some skill and that skill can be acquired only through practice and concentration. Using the controllers effectively requires some decent hand-eye co-ordination and very quick reflexes. It is this aspect in gaming which keeps you completely attentive and occupied. Generally the mind is busy with too many things. Even when you’re sitting quietly, your mind keeps thinking about various things at different layers. The objective of meditation is to make your mind thoughtless and still. For me, gaming is one step towards that. Laughable? At least, when I’m into gaming there’s only one thing I think about. Mind is clear of all other things. This could be possible with various activities. What makes gaming unique is that the fun is sustainable for hours (so I knocked one comparison with this point) and it requires your involvement and interaction (unlike movies) and in an environment as comfortable as you can make (unlike playing outdoor games under the ‘Chennai sun’).

For me, gaming is not at all a waste of time because I get value for time. Most people who don’t really understand the value of gaming may not have played a game in a console. If you have not tried this yet, don’t miss the next opportunity. Do play any game. See how engrossed you get into that. See how you forget what time of the day it is and where are you’re sitting. See how relieved you feel. See how you explode with joy and laughter which might even be very unlike you.

We are a small group of gamers that play for fun. The objective is strictly fun. We play either against the artificially intelligent computer (aka just ‘computer’) players or against each other among ourselves. In any case, the objective remains to be fun. So we win some, we lose some. When we win, that gives a good feeling. When we lose, invariably there is something to laugh about, with the way we played. Irrespective of the result, we have loads of fun playing that version of indoor football. In every single session there would be spells of laugh riots. Over the last few years, I think we have had over 1000 hours of gaming and possibly more than 2000 football matches.

This one happened the other day. Me and my cousin, as a team, were playing a football game on XBOX 360 against a computer controlled team. We were a goal ahead. Dying moments of the match. We were defending a well orchestrated, devastating attack by the computer. We defended the attack well as my cousin took control of the ball dangerously close to our goal line. Just when I thought he was going to clear the ball to safety, I saw him blasting the ball with unbelievable brutality into our own net for the ‘best’ own goal ever scored. Priceless moment.

When the Bangalore blasts happened, I was in Bangalore. I was staying in Shivajinagar which was one of the several places where the bombs exploded. It is, of course a big news and a terrible news. But I can confirm that it was not as bad as it was made out to be, by the news channels. I was shopping around that weekend because things returned to normalcy in a matter of few hours. If you had followed the images and footages on the television, you must have been thinking that Bangalore was burning, while I was exploring the city on foot and by taxi.

We have too many private news channels. And there is a dog-eat-dog competition among them. What this results in is a cheap competition of who can best sensationalise the happenings. Sadly, that’s what it all boils down to. You can see that if you keep switching across channels while something worthwhile is being reported. I guess there must be a mad rush to fix a catchy deadline that can run for days and weeks. It is purely a business. It is just a matter of who sells more copies or who gets more viewership.

The crudeness, the cheapness of reporting is one. Worst is, the joy, more than the duty, of reporting terrible incidents. Sometimes it makes me feel that if they hear about a serial bomb blast somewhere, they might scream ‘yesssssssss’. The news channels’ job is a bit like that of the doctors. If everyone’s healthy, he’s got nothing to do. That shouldn’t mean he’s hoping for the cholera to break out. If it does break out, he can’t be spreading the scare and fear instead of awareness and alertness.

Journos question everyone. News channels are omnipotent. They are so bloody powerful. They question politicians, economists, sportsmen, artists, celebrities; they can question anyone. They have the God-given right to ask anyone the tough questions. They have the privilege of embarrassing anyone in the public eyes. They might even score some brownie points when they get someone to walk out on them from the studio or when someone was made to weep. I guess they would also weep if it helps the TRP.

Who can question the news channels? Who can evaluate them? They can name and shame the politicians for not doing their job, they can question the commitment of a player when he is not in form, they can brutally criticise an artist and his creations and pretend that they know more than the learned economists. Now, who’s checking if the news channels are doing their job? Who’s going to report them? How do you evaluate the news channels is an interesting topic in itself.

You must know about this blogger Chyetanya Kunte who wrote a post titled ‘shoddy journalism’ about the coverage of the Taj incident by NDTV. He was not a well known blogger or anything. He wrote about how the terrorists used the NDTV’s live coverage of the whole Taj incident. He was particlarly singling out Barkha Dutt for the ‘shoddy journalism’ and questioning her ethics. He was tracked down by the NDTV and Barkha Dutt. He was sued and made to issue an apology in his own blog for his post. Below is his original post for which NDTV sued Kunte. Make up your mind.

I think it was a very good post (though with a poor closing line) which should have been responded by Barkha appropriately instead of a libel. He has raised some very vital questions which require answers more than anything. Those were the questions on everyone’s lips. When this argument continued in facebook, Barkha herself responded there in facebook, again with no valid response. You can read the whole history of this battle here. The whole episode was seen as a breach of freedom of expression. The bloggers were enraged. Many many anti-Barkha communities were created in Facebook. Finally, we all realised there is a way to talk about the Press. I think the answer to who can evaluate and if required, criticise the news channels lies in this very incident.

It is in the internet, and it should be the bloggers. Who else can do that and using which other medium?

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day he passed a wealthy merchant’s house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. “How powerful that merchant must be!” thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. “How powerful that official is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a high official!”

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. “How powerful the sun is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be the sun!”

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. “How powerful that storm cloud is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a cloud!”

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. “How powerful it is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be the wind!”

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it – a huge, towering rock. “How powerful that rock is!” he thought. “I wish that I could be a rock!”

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. “What could be more powerful than I, the rock?” he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.

What a lovely story! This has got to be one of the best. There’s always someone better or there’s always someone worse. The more you want the less you get, at least in your mind.

Before we go to the movie, a very short backdrop of the story. Rwanda is an central African country that was a Belgian colony until 1962. Hutu and Tutsi are the two major ethnic groups in Rwanda. Hutu are the majority and Tutsi are the minority. Unsurprisingly, it was the Belgians who promoted the divide between the classes and ethnic groups when they took control of Rwanda in 1916. They considered Tutsi as the elite and ruling class and gave them key positions. In 1959, the very same Belgians took a u-turn and handed the power to Hutu. When they left the country in 1962, Hutu majority were in ruling power. The Hutu-Tutsi relationship has always been strained since then. The Hutu-Tutsi situation existed in the neighbouring countries of Congo and Uganda as well.

The story starts in the early 90s. There is a constant tension in the country due to the recent incidents of violence. The Hutu movement to wipe of ‘the cockroaches’ (as they would call Tutsi) starts to gain enormous momentum. That’s when the Hutu president of Rwanda gets assassinated which worsens the situation. Hutu take military command of the state and sets on a mission to erase the Tutsi population from Rwanda.

This movie is the true story of Paul Rusesabagina, the assistant manager of a very big hotel in Rwanda. Paul’s father is a Hutu and mother is a Tutsi. His wife is a Tutsi.

In 1994, the genocide breaks out in Rwanda. The radio keeps blaring ‘kill the cockroaches’. The armed Hutus are everywhere. They are in hundreds and thousands. They have all the weapons with them and they have the numbers too. They start killing Tutsi on sight. They seem to take pride and joy in killing Tutsi. The news about the mass murders spreads. Tutsi are running everywhere. They want a place to hide, place to save their lives. As this was a very well planned massacre, Hutu have got them very well surrounded. There is no escape.

It even gets to a stage where the disposal of dead bodies becomes a massive operation by itself. Rwanda starts stinking. Dead bodies are cleared like debris. It becomes difficult to drive in certain roads because of the uncleared bunch of bodies lying around.

The real Paul Rusesabagina recollects:

We all knew we would die, no question. The only question was how. Would they chop us in pieces? With their machetes they would cut your left hand off. Then they would disappear and reappear a few hours later to cut off your right hand. A little later they would return for your left leg etc. They went on till you died. They wanted to make you suffer as long as possible. There was one alternative: you could pay soldiers so they would just shoot you. That’s what her [his wife] father did.

This whole situation was brought out in the movie very well. They make you feel how bad the situation was. They got me worried. You get this uncomfortable feeling when you see thousands of armed Hutu extremists chanting and walking down the roads and killing Tutsi along the way. Absolutely merciless. Be it old people or women or children, they just go on killing them. And there is Paul Rusesabagina trying to save his family.

When all this news comes out, Paul wants to save his family and that’s all he cares. And he feels that he must save his neighbours too. Then he realises that he is able to save some more lives. And he slowly realises that everyone is abandoning Rwanda. The journalists, the red cross, the UN officials, everyone is leaving Rwanda. No one wants to stop what’s happening here in Rwanda. Worse is, no one even wants to know what’s happening here in Rwanda. This wasn’t the biggest story in CNN or BBC and was called ‘some tribal violence’. I know why. There is no oil in Rwanda, for starters.

As the killings continue, Paul with no support from anyone, goes on to refuge about 1,268 people in his hotel which has 112 rooms. The power is out. Supplies have stopped coming. There is no administration at the hotel. There is no one to do that. These thousand plus people will have to be fed until the crisis comes to an end. Hutu are hunting for the Tutsi. Paul Rusesabagina, a true hero, saves 1,268 people in a genocide that killed about a million people in about 100 days.

It’s a great movie, as in it brings out the horror and emotions as it should. I mean, imagine a million people getting killed in about 100 days, that’s about 10,000 murders everyday for 100 days. It must have been fucking hell and the movie captures that as much as possible. It is simply impossible to capture a horror of this magnitude in a movie. It cannot be a documentary. It is a movie and there’s a story telling to do. In the process, they had to show the backdrop to make us understand the gravity of the situation. Even though you now know that Paul saved more than thousand people, when you watch the movie, you won’t believe that they could be saved or might have been saved. That’s how well they’ve depicted these scenes.

Paul was a hero. He was a hero because he could commit a heroic act to save so many lives. Before 1994, he was a very ordinary man, with his family and children, working as an assistant manager in a hotel. After 1995, he took asylum in Belgium after some serious life threats in Rwanda. He is again a very normal man now. He was a hero, for a short period, when it mattered most. One might wonder why Paul left Rwanda and is living in Belgium. The answer is he wants to live. He wants to live his life peacefully. That underlines that he is a very normal man who went against all the odds to perform a heroic act at a certain time. He did not dedicate his whole life to the people of Rwanda or something. He did not want to bring change to Rwanda or something. All that he did was to be a hero when he can and be like a normal man when he wants to. This mentality is brought out very well in the movie as well.

This is a very inspirational movie. It shows that you don’t have to be in the army or in the politics or be a strong or powerful guy to do such acts of heroism. All that matters is your spirit and determination. And all that he did was very much in his capacity as an assistant manager of a hotel. He did not do anything that a hotelier would not otherwise do. He housed people, he fed them, he made feel comfortable, he made them feel safe. In our walks of life, in our capacity, we can do quite a lot. But we don’t do unless we’re pushed to the limits. Even in this story, if Paul’s family, friends and relatives are all Hutu, he might have tried to flee the country for a peaceful life. It was the fight for the survival of his family that brought the best out of him. We all need to be pushed to the wall to come up with such acts. But we are normal people. But even normal people can do quite a lot. That’s my take away from this movie.

This is one of the most spine-chilling movies I have ever seen. It’s not very often that you’re filled with sadness, disappointment and helplessness after you’re done watching a movie. I was really worried. Really worried that this happened and it happened as recently as in mid-90s and the fact I could know about this only from a movie. Do watch this movie. The sad thing is, this movie would always be relevant. You cannot rule out another such genocide in the future. If I had asked you in 1993, if a mass killing of million people would ever happen, you’d have laughed off. That’s why this movie would always be relevant.

Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skilfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action. In its exemplary form, it is based on universal intellectual values that transcend subject matter divisions: clarity, accuracy, precision, consistency, relevance, sound evidence, good reasons, depth, breadth, and fairness.

I might have taken you back to your school and college years with that kind of definition. But that’s the most comprehensive way to define critical thinking. Basically what it means is, improving one’s own thinking knowing with the awareness of the common pitfalls, and also continuously improve one’s own thinking . Apparently, good critical thinkers can be very good problem solvers.

Thinking is often casual or routine, whereas critical thinking deliberately evaluates the quality of thinking. The ability to think critically involves three things:

* Using logic, reason and the scientific method over abstract theories and emotional judgements.
* Awareness of heuristics (shortcuts) and biases (errors) that influence human thinking.
* Using these abilities systematically on everything in your life. From that, using the results to make improvements.

It is natural for humans, once an idea is formed, to look for supporting instead of conflicting evidence. The first goal of a rational thinker is that, once a theory is formed, evidence that conflicts with this theory is sought. Searching to be proven wrong, rather than vindicated, is a cornerstone of critical thinking.

Everyone thinks; it is our nature to do so. But much of our thinking, left to itself, is biased, distorted, partial, uninformed or down-right prejudiced. Yet the quality of our life and that of what we produce, make, or build depends precisely on the quality of our thought. Shoddy thinking is costly, both in money and in quality of life. Excellence in thought, however, must be systematically cultivated.

That’s a fantastic paragraph. We might not want to admit this – we are biased, prejudiced, partial and uninformed. But we still think and make decisions. May be due to the fact that our thoughts and subsequently our decisions can be faulty, we do get into problems. The quality of our decisions determine what kind of life we lead. There is a reason your office life or personal life is going in a certain way. Most of it is controllable by you provided your thoughts and decisions are good enough. It’s up to you to be aware of the known hurdles for thinking such as bias, distortion, partiality, lack of information or prejudice and ensuring that they don’t bring down the quality of your thoughts. There is a reason why it is said that ‘critical thinking is a way of taking up problems of life’.

Critical thinking is also defined as the art of taking charge of your own mind. Its value is also at root simple: if we can take charge of our own minds, we can take charge of our lives; we can improve them, bringing them under our self command and direction. Of course, this requires that we learn self-discipline and the art of self-examination. This involves becoming interested in how our minds work, how we can monitor, fine tune, and modify their operations for the better. It involves getting into the habit of reflectively examining our impulsive and accustomed ways of thinking and acting in every dimension of our lives.

Errors and mistakes can happen anywhere and everywhere. So they can happen in thoughts and thought processes as well. If the whole thought process is faulty, there is no way it’s gonna give you a good decision at the end of the process. The thing with the errors and mistakes with our thought process is, not many would come to know about the mistake. The result of the mistake in the thought process could be bad decisions, strained relationships, bad image and stuff like that. Those are things that we may not want to admit that those could be a result of our poor thinking. The thinker, which is you or me, would most probably come to know of the mistake. We have the options of believing that we are masters of the universe and not going back to analyse where exactly we went wrong and put the blame on something else or to analyse and identify why we could not come up with a good solution.

Critical thinking is the art of analyzing and evaluating thinking with a view to improving it. Much like professional athletes or musicians must practice to master their sport or art, so must thinkers practice to master their minds.

Come to think of it, I think I’ve always practised ‘critical thinking’ (though I might be a novice at that) without actually knowing that such a recognised concept exists. Many a times my thoughts and decisions have gone wrong. Over a period of years, I’ve learnt to think better. I’ve learnt to decide better. Though thinking is natural, critical thinking is not natural. Biased thinking and prejudiced thinking are very natural. I don’t know how good a critical thinker I am but I’m happy that I have been able to recognise critical thinking and also distinguish normal thinking and critical thinking. I’m sure one can become a better thinker with the practice of critical thinking.

This is an open question. What kind of thinker are you – impulsive, casual or critical? Has your thinking improved over time? Over time, you would have obtained better sources of information and more experience but let’s not mistake them for improved thinking. Unless we have made a conscious attempt to improve our thinking, it would most probably be the same style of thinking loaded with more information and exeprience. Hence my question. This is an instrospective question. You can ask yourself without burdening yourself with the thought of having to admit it to others. Is our thinking casual or critical? I know this is quite a heavy subject but how often do we get to ‘think about thinking’?

Lao Tzu became very famous, a wise man, and he was without doubt one of the wisest man ever. The emperor of China asked him very humbly to become the chief justice of the supreme court, because nobody could guide the country’s laws better than he could. He tried to persuade the emperor, “I’m not the right man”, but the emperor was insistent.

Lao Tzu said, “If you don’t listen to me . . . just one day in the court and you will be convinced that I’m not the right man, because the system is wrong. Out of humbleness I was not saying the truth to you. Either I can exist or your law and your order and your society can exist. So . . . let us try it.”

The first day a thief who had stolen almost half of the treasures of the richest man in the capital was brought into the court. Lao Tzu listened to the case and then he said that the thief and the richest man should both go to jail for six months. The rich man said, “What are you saying? I have been stolen from, I have been robbed – what kind of justice is this, that you sending me to jail for the same amount of time as the thief?”

Lao Tzu said, “I am certainly being unfair to the thief. Your need to be in jail is greater because you have collected so much money to yourself, deprived so many people of money . . . thousands of people are downtrodden and you are collecting and collecting money. For what? Your very greed is creating the thieves. You are responsible. The first crime is yours.”

Lao Tzu’s logic is absolutely clear. If there are going to be too many people and only a few rich people, you cannot stop thieves, you cannot stop stealing. The only way to stop is to have a society where everybody has enough to fulfil his needs, and nobody has unnecessary accumulation just out of greed.

The rich man said, “Before you send me to jail I want to see the emperor, because this is not according to the constitution;this is not according to the laws of the country.” Lao Tzu said, “This is the fault of the constitution and the fault of the law of the country. I am not responsible for it. Go and see the emperor.”

The rich man said to the emperor, “Listen, this man should be immediately deposed from his post; he is dangerous. Today I am going to jail, tomorrow you will be in jail. If you want to save yourself, this man has to be thrown out; he is absolutely dangerous. And he is very rational. What he is saying is right; I can understand it – but he will destroy us!”

The emperor understood it perfectly well. “If this rich man is a criminal, then I am the greatest criminal in the country. Lao Tzu will not hesitate to send me to jail.” Lao Tzu was relieved of his post. He said, “I tried to tell you before; you are unnecessarily wasting my time. I told you I am not the right man. The reality is your society, your law, and your constitution are not right. You need wrong people to run the whole wrong system.”

Your comments please!

I loved playing cricket. I was never a good player though. I was average at best. I had poor technique and footwork in batting. I was a decent bowler I guess. In fielding, I was hopeless. My wearing glasses did nothing to improve my cricketing skills or form. It’s difficult to bowl with your glasses on. You run the risk of ‘elbowing’ the glasses. So, the underarm and overarm versions of bowling suited me well. While batting, I always dreaded the quicker ball and wearing glasses gave me that unexplainable insecurity.

Once I even had my glasses broken by a hard cricket ball travelling at some speed. May be, if I was a better batsman I would not have put all the blame on my glasses. I didn’t have this thing called ‘hand-eye’ co-ordination. It was so bad that it was like the hands and eyes belonged to different people. My fielding was a joke too. My reflexes were never quick enough to get my palms together for a catch. Especially when the ball is skied up, I used to position myself so well in the zone, only to see the ball pop out of my hand. So my positioning was all right, it’s just that my palms were executing the brain’s instructions quick enough. Not many would realise that when a ball is up in the air, the first feeling you get is to protect your glasses from the falling ball. Easier way to achieve it would be to catch the ball but didn’t I tell you my fielding was a joke?

As a young boy, you had to run a lot. Run in the playground, run to school, run to home, run to the shop, boys don’t simply walk. Running with the glasses on can never be as fast as otherwise. Once again, the awareness of the glass reminds you that you can’t run wild. Holding the glasses with one hand and using the other one for aero dynamic movements was not just good enough. The most embarrassing thing was to see your glasses fall off on the road and then with blurred vision looking around all over to see where it fell. So bloody humiliating it is. Used to feel like a sick old man trying to reach out for his walking stick.

Physical difficulties aside, there was something else too. Bespectacled people were everyone’s bunnies. That was a thing to be made fun of. There’s a range of crazy nicknames and funny one-liners to ridicule the ‘glassers’. By the way, there is no single simple word in English for a bespectacled man. And I don’t want to keep writing this word ‘bepsetcalced’ word because the letters for this word are spread across the keyboard increasing the chances for typos by this untrained ‘typer’. So, let me call them ‘glassers’. To be ridiculed for wearing glasses is the worst insult for a glasser. Most annoying and most irritating. I don’t know if this is still the case in schools. There was also this misconception that the glassers would be very studious and teachers’ pets. That did not help us in joining the mischievous mainstream. Not every glasser wore glasses because they were reading every book published. I used to sit very close to the television and I managed to do this so effectively that I had to enter the glasshood as early as 10 years of age.

In college days, glasses posed me a different problem. I couldn’t wear sun glasses. Goddammit! I was always crazy about sun glasses and I thought I’d look good with sun glasses on. But I could never wear them. The sad part is even if I were to try sun glasses, I wouldn’t know how I look. I’ll hear my friends saying that it’s good and all but I could only believe them. The best I could do was to get myself photographed with sun glasses on. Then I started believing the results of some research that said sun glasses are bad for health.

The glasses have become almost a part of my body now. It’s literally true because the power of my glasses have grown with me. I started with a minus 2.5 and right now my left eye is minus 5.5 and right eye is minus 6.5. Mathematically speaking, the power has reduced but I know that it has increased. But I would never understand how the left and right eye have different powers. There is something my left eye has managed that the right eye did not learn. Poor, I thought I only had a problem of hand-eye co-ordination. If I don’t have my glasses, my life comes to a standstill. You have come close to kissing distance for me to recognise you.

For all the troubles I’ve gone through because of glasses, I must say that I grown to love wearing glasses. Sometimes it’s plain lucky that people presume glassers for learned, educated, intellectual and sophisticated men. Good for us. We can continue to wonder how to locate ‘my documents’ while people mistake us for partitioning the hard disk.

Every single person you meet tells you that you’re going to win. Some of them mean it and some of them say it because it’s a nice thing to say. Every gathering and every party you go to, you’re flooded with wishes and there is expectation all around. The countdown to the night is killing to a point where you don’t want to think about the future. Your wife says that you’ll win it. Your kids say that they know you’ll win it. The one thing that matters is winning. That wonderful feeling. You should win not becauce you were the best of the lost that year. You have to win because you don’t want to let anyone down.

Then comes the betting odds. You’re a favourite to win it. There are opinion polls. It’s you all the way. There are expert predictions. You top the list. Golden Globe Awards. You win it. Your odds improve. Your stock goes up to dizzying heights. You start believing that this is truly your year. You prepare for your thank you speech. Make a quick note of who need to be thanked and all that. You even take some help in writing that thank you note. You keep reminding yourself of things to do and things not to do on the night. You know winning or losing is not the end of the world but you know you simply can’t lose. You wonder why should they announce the award in the show? Why can’t they release it to the press the previous day? This show could be so fantastic then.

Then comes the big night. You walk on the red carpet hoping that you’d carry home that statue when you step back again on it. The awards ceremony begins. You are made to wait for your nominated section. The humour of the hosts does not really amuse you because you simply can’t wait. Inside, you’re screaming God! stop the jokes, get on with the awards!!!. There are so many other inconsequential stuff that you should watch through before yours would be introduced. It’s time for your section. The names of the nominees are called out. The sound of your name chills your spine and is greeted with the loudest of crowd cheer. You’re the favourite after all. They’re opening the envelope. You hold your nerves and try to stay balanced. You’re telling yourself to stay cool. Stay cool like you’ve won this a dozen times before.

And the oscar goes to . . . someone else.

You don’t want to believe it. For once you feel you’re not there. No one thinks you’re there except the dear ones near you who read out to you their quick consolation note. The winner is showered with kisses as he stands up to walk. Every single person looks at the stood up man. All eyes on the winner. You feel so fucking disappointed and unexplainably upset. It’s all come to an end. Fuck the odds, opinion polls and experts. This is the reality. You didn’t win it. You’re gonna leave this place the same way you came in, probably worse if not anything. Getting nominated is no mean feat, but when you do get nominated, you don’t want to stop there and it’s no longer a thing that you cherish most. You didn’t win. The disappointment of not winning is a hundred times bigger than the pleasure of being nominated.

You have no interest whatsoever in being there for the rest of the show. You’re trying your best to take it easy but you can’t. The hosts are still being funny with those one-liners. You still don’t appreciate, this time though for a different reason. You make up your mind. You remind yourself to appear gracious at defeat. You’re being watched and tracked. You remind yourself to say nice things about the winner so that you’re not seen as a sore loser. You’re waiting for the show to end. God, why do they have to award even the short animated films? who cares about them?. Show’s over. Dinner’s over. You’ve played the nice guy well enough.

It’s time to get back home. Life as usual. No cameras outside your house. No press coverage. No spotlight. They’re all busy with the winners. After the disappointment, you’re yet to meet all those people from your neighbours to relatives to friends. You need to appear cheerful and nice, and accept their ‘you deserved it better’, ‘hard luck’. You hate when people console you. You scream inside ‘I don’t need your fake words. Just get lost’. I don’t know for how many days but you have to endure that. You’re slowly getting tired of it but that’s the way it works. It would have all been all right if not for the hype which you did not create yourselves. They pulled you up to heights and have dropped you as well.

It’s tough to be a winner, but it’s tougher to be a loser especially if you don’t want to be one. It’s true that defeat teaches you more than victory does. My heart goes out to all those who weren’t nominated and who didn’t win despite their best performances.

Sun signs were not invented by Linda Goodman. And sun signs are not a thing of Western Astrology. Sun signs and moon signs are described very well in the ancient hindu astrology. There, sun sign denotes the body and moon sign denotes the mind. Sun signs talk about personalities and how someone is seen by the others. Moon signs talk about what emotional side of the person. Therefore, sun sign alone may not be sufficient to judge a person. You need to combine the qualities of the sun sign and the moon sign for a decent package. But sun signs, moon signs, ‘your day today’ and ‘signs this week’ are not astrology. They are pieces of astrology which may not make full sense when used in isolation. By now you’d have understood that I believe in astrology. That makes me a bit old-fashioned, isn’t it? Sadly enough, I can’t even prove to you how it works. I cannot convince you.

Some people don’t believe astrology. That’s because they don’t ‘believe’. I believe in ancient hindu astrology. When you believe in astrology you’re either old-fashioned or superstitious or lacking self-confidence. Those are perceptions that are hard to erase. When I say I believe, let me clarify that I’ve never consulted astrology or sought any help from an astrologer or sought to know my future. Now you may ask, is it possible to predict the future? The way I see it, astrology is a science. It has its own methods, formulae and theories. It can predict the future and those predictions can go wrong, just like it happens with any science. Astrological predictions are like those by-pass heart surgeries. There are proofs of concept that it works. But it depends a lot on who performs it and various other circumstances. Just because a by-pass surgery fails we should not be doubting medical science.

Astrologers are like bloggers. To be an astrologer, you don’t need a degree or a certificate. So anyone can be an astrologers. Most of the amateur astrologers give astrology a bad name. Because of them, astrology has even become a joke. Reminds me of the local meteorological office. When they say it will rain, it will be sunny like sun has come closer by a million miles. That’s a local joke because they get it wrong most of the times. That’s why people don’t really take bloggers or astrologers or meteorologists any seriously.

The fake astrologers are like magicians. They show you what you want to see.

Astrologer: You must be a very hard worker. You’ll give anything and everything for your work. Right?
Astronut: Absolutely. You’re right!
Astrologer: You hate lies. You hate being lied to.
Astronut: You got it. My blood boils when I’m lied to!!
Astrologer: You’re a very creative person. You get upset when you’re ideas are not considered.
Astronut: Spot on. Looks like you know me better than I do!!!
(By this time, it is clear that the astronut is willing to get laid. Now comes the business end of the discussions which wins the bread)
Astrologer: You have some loans and that worries you.
Astronut: Yes, it drives me crazy. That’s why I’m here.
Astrologer: Okay now, what you need to do is . . .

Whatever he prescribes, if it works, the astrologer becomes a legend otherwise he can blame it on anything including the fact that the ‘astronut’ had his kitchen facing north and his gas stove facing west.

Let’s be clear. Unreliable astrologers should not mean astrology is unreliable. Astrology has stood thousands of years. I think the basis of astrology could be statistics. Suppose you survey a group of 1000 people wearing blue shirts and 800 of them are very positive-minded. Suppose you survey another group of 1000 people wearing white shirts of which 900 are very pessimistic and skeptical. Your survey conclusion would be that wearing blue shirts generates positivity and creates vibrancy whereas wearing the white shirt makes you negative. When you’re wearing a particular shirt, if 9 out of 10 times, your day has been fantastic, you’d ‘believe’ that it’s your lucky shirt and would wear for the right occasions. It’s all probability based on track record or past data.

Now take a bunch of 1000 pisceans and study they personality and behaviour. I’m sure you’re going to find lots of similarities. That’s because, before someone for the first time wrote that Pisceans are unexciting sober introverts that you should avoid, the survey and study must have happened. That is, thousands of years back, before the earliest scriptures of hindu astrology was written. My take is, it is a pattern. I need not be the introvert of highest degree because I’m a piscean but most pisceans could be. That’s statistics. That’s trend analysis and study of patterns. While this is understandable, you can still ask why should all pisceans be so boring? Why Sun in Pisces makes someone an introvert? That’s a bigger question. That’s where the fundamental belief of ‘planets do influence lives’ comes in. It’s like saying, ‘I know blue shirt is your lucky shirt but why?’.

Astrology is not just sun signs and moon signs. It is much deeper. Astrology is also based on mathematics and astronomy. Do not ask me how astrology works? I don’t have an answer. I’m sure this is not the only question for which you and I don’t have an answer. I certainly believe that astrology works because I believe planets can influence the people’s lives. There are so many things that we don’t understand. We call them luck, fortune, God, unknown, unknowable etc. Wait for a few years for a NASA group of researchers to come up with a paper to say that planets of the universe can influence people’s lives. Some might even win a nobel prize for that.

Now, go ahead. Knock me down!

This travel I refer to, happened about 10 years back. Me and my cousin boarded a train with an idea of going to our hometown. Few minutes into the travel, strangely, we agreed that we drop the idea of getting down at the destination. We thought we will just get down in the last station and catch the train back home. Or basically, we were ready to get down anywhere and go anywhere. Go anywhere but return home by evening. I must tell you, it was so much fun. We felt so free.

I’m sure many won’t do that and even if they do that they won’t really feel proud talking about it. Imagine yourself travelling just like that. You gotta update someone on your travel right? You need to explain to someone what you gained out of the travel. You need to convince others why you did something that you wanted to do. Isn’t it?

I know some people say that they want to be like birds. Being able to fly anywhere, to feel free with no hurdles or hindrances whatsoever. In fact, a flying bird is a symbol of freedom. We may not be as free as the bird but you know what, we are more free than we might think. Birds go wherever they want to. Same applies to you and me. We are as free as we think we are. I know, we have certain roles and responsibilities that restrict our freedom but we tend exaggerate this. The truth is we need a reason, a tangible reason, for everything that we do. If you board a train, you need to go somewhere and to do something. We need a real, visible output at the end of any process. May be that’s because all these things are seen as a process. Also because, you are being watched. By everyone around you. You need to explain things that you do.

I want to be able to do things that need not give anything to me tangible. I may not want to get any financial, social or reputational benefit out of everything I do. Do things that give me peace, calm and joy. Most probably these things won’t be very popular. They will attract remarks like “are you crazy?”. I’m an xbox console addict. When I play on xbox, that does not help anyone but me. I don’t hone any ‘useful’ skill, I don’t improve my knowledge, I don’t ‘gain’ anything. But that’s my time. I don’t care if that helps me or not. I don’t care even if people say I’m wasting my time on it. That’s my private time. Try applying this to travel, you’ll feel as free as a bird.

In fact, for everything that we do, including blogging, we have an audience in mind. Being at office, being at home, being with friends, we play to the audience all the time. Aren’t you tired of playing to the gallery? How about doing things that are just for ourselves? That don’t have to necessarily enhance your health, finance and all that stuff. Just doing things for the heck of it, because you love it and you want it. For all that I talk about destination-less travel, I never did it more than once. But the one time I did ‘travel to nowhere’, I realised the joy of it. That joy need not always come from such travels. Just have to do things with the sense of absolute freedom with a sense of I, me, myself.

Now what’s going to happen is people sign up with their email address so that they don’t have to type www.vjkrishna.com and check for the posts. This would mean that the comments and interaction in the blog would reduce. I’m not pleased with that. Blogs should be market of views and opinions, not just of the blog author, also that of every reader. But then, why am I spending time in setting this up? Because, it would help you. It sure helps the readership of the blog articles. It is a trade off between 10 readers of which 4 could comment regularly and 100 readers of which 10 could comment regularly.

My advice to you is to subscribe by email if that’s the best you can do. Whether you read the blog from your mailbox or from the web, do leave your comment. That’s certainly easier than writing a blog, isn’t it? When I read something, I might feel ‘hey, that’s good’ or ‘wow, that’s cool’ or ‘oh! this sucks’ or ‘the guy’s clueless’ or whatever. All that I need to do is to just type these feelings in the comment box. As simple as that. If you can substantiate your feelings, that sets up nicely for another round of discussion.

I want to tell about few other things that might not have caught your eye. Look at the top menu bar. You know all about HOME. Then you got ABOUT. That’s where I boast about myself and make you feel inferior. That’s my bit. And then, you see a link for ARCHIVES. On clicking that you’ll see the list of all posts ever posted on this blog. It is also nicely arranged by every month. It shows you the post title and the number of comments in each post. In the menu bar, next to archives, you see COMMENTS. Going into that, you’ll see the excerpts of the last 20 comments posted in this blog. You can click and go to the comment to read it fully.

After comments, you have CONTACT. That’s where you see the contact form. That’s the one you need to use when you want to give me an award or something like that. Type in the details there, your message gets delivered to my email box directly. After that, you see the GRAVATARS. I feel sorry for the ones that don’t use gravatars. It’s simple, free and it’s fun. I don’t think you need more reasons to use gravatars. Yes, you may not know how to set it up but that’s why you have this link in the menu.

To all new bloggers, now that’s your lesson on how to write an article when you have nothing to write

Ernst Hemingway wrote this famous shortest story: “For sale: baby shoes. never worn.” This is about a poor parent who is yet to recover from the disaster of their miscarriage. Imagine the emotional impact created by just 6 words. Reminds me of how much we waste words. Flash fiction is about using less descriptions and adjectives and fillers but still coming up with the same impact.

Here is my attempt at a micro-fiction.

I’m on my bike, waiting for the traffic signal. I should take a right. If I take a left I’ll save 20 minutes but I saw the ‘no entry’ sign on the road. Should I take the long right or the short left? The signal’s goes green. The biker ahead of me takes the left defying the ‘no entry’ signal. That’s my motivation. I take the left folliwing him. From nowhere comes the traffic police and stops me. He tells me “you’re not supposed to enter this road, didn’t you see the sign?”. I say, “sorry sir, the guy before me just took this road”. He says “but he didn’t get caught”.

I guess all zen stories would classify as micro fictions. Little fish in the ocean asking its mom: ‘where is this thing called ocean?’. Zen stories always say it with fewer words but carry a lot of depth. Sometimes, I wonder if it’s possible to create that impact with more words. More words might only kill it.

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out. The first monk said, “Oh, no! The candle is out.” The second monk said, “Aren’t we not suppose to talk?” The third monk said, “Why must you two break the silence?” The fourth monk laughed and said, “Ha! I’m the only one who didn’t speak.”

I never had the patience for reading fictions. I can’t say the same about Flash fictions. It would take me hardly two minutes to read a short flash fiction. I think it is an interesting challenge to try telling a story in less than 100 words. Make an attempt. Will be interesting.

I hear people saying “I don’t have time”. I’d say you don’t need time. All it takes for a decent post is 20 mins. That’s because, you don’t think as you write. Think of a writable topic and keep thinking about what you can write and start organising your thoughts mentally. All this you can do when you’re driving or walking. How long you want to mentally construct the post is up to you. After you’re done with you thought process, when you sit down to write/type, it’s not going to take you more than 20 minutes.

And then, one can say “I’m technologically challenged”. See, I know nothing about my car. I can drive it. I simply don’t understand how it works and I don’t think I need to know that. I never understood how electricity works but that never stopped me consuming power that makes people wonder if it’s a factory over here. Just simply use it. Setting up a blog takes a few minutes. And then it’s just you and your blog. You write and publish. And you keep doing it. There is no need for any special knowledge.

“I don’t think I’m a good writer”. I’m confident that I’m a good writer (you might have a different opinion). I wasn’t able to say this a year back. I own another blog too where I have written about 700 posts. Like other things, writing improves with practice. It’s not like I write something and about 100 million people read and say ‘you’re such a loser’. The fact is, when you start writing you’ll have a very small audience and readership grows with time. It’s ok, if we write poorly. Everybody can talk but does everyone talk well? It’s an art, isn’t it? It can improve with time.

Write about what? All that you need as a writer is some ideas/concepts/topics to write about. To be honest, in a blog like this, I can write about anything. Let me take my eyes off my laptop. What do I see? I see my television. I can write about television, its impact, the programmes I love etc. I turn my head I look at my sofa. I can write about furniture. How we never had any furniture at home once and accumulated all this now. I turn to my right, I see my balcony. If a balcony cannot inspire you to write, what will? It’s not at all difficult to write especially if you don’t restrict yourself to a shell.

What if I write? Writing is fun. It truly is. You need to experience it to feel it. You’re the creator. It makes you more confident, it can make you think better, it can get you good friends, it can get you money or even a career, if you so wish.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Whoever thought of this, hats off to him!

I was a complete failure at typewriting. I did join the typewriting classes but it did not even last a week. I decided to drop out because of two reasons. One, I thought it was a bit too clerical for my liking. I came to a conclusion that my typewriting ability or the lack of it would never have an impact on my career. Two, as you’ve found out by now, I couldn’t type. As simple as that. The typewriter was such a hard mechanical device that lacked style and sophistication. I thought it was an everlasting symbol of industrial revolution. I was way too gentle for that. I just couldn’t do it. That’s not to say I’m not dexterous. I’m a console addict, can beat you to death in an xbox game. Typewriter was not my thing.

Meanwhile, I was always crazy about shorthand. There was something special about shorthand. That was like learning a new language. A language only a handful would know. In a way, it was also a code language. It’s fun to write stuff that not all mortals can understand. For some reason that I don’t remember, I never joined the shorthand classes. But I had this shorthand book that was picked up in a platform shop. I tried to learn it myself. It needed a lot of patience than I had expected. I could not graduate beyond cat, mat and rat.

About 15 years later, both typewriting and shorthand seem like a dying skill. There are not many institutes and not many willing to learn. Sometime in the last few years, I’ve learnt to type. I’m not the fastest typer (I hate the word ‘typist’) but I not a rabbit either. Typing with the computer keyboard gives me a lot of pleasure than with the typewriter. In terms of convenience, the computer keyboard is only a million times better. Flat keyboards with soft touch key pads. Also thank God for backspace, copy, paste and all that stuff. The most important thing is again the sophistication I was talking about. The other plus I see is that, with the keyboard, I can see and read what I type. The pleasure of admiring your own creation. With typewriter, the paper is arrested inside the metal frames and I feel like I’m punishing the paper with hammering hits. It’s like canning the paper and if you’re poor at writing, it’s even worse, pity the paper. I know there are people who still love the typewriter. As an invention, it is just brilliant and its design is absolutely original. In terms of usage, I think it’s slowly moving to the museums.

I still have the fascination towards shorthand. It will always be in the list of things that I always wanted to do but never did. One of the less obscene things in the list. I think shorthand has already gone out of fashion and business. Dictaphones have completely eliminated the need for learning this not-so-easy skill which requires constant practice to stay upto speed. With dictaphones, you just have to switch it on and you don’t have to go to institutes to learn how to switch it on. I don’t know if anyone still learns or practices shorthand. It’s a pity that shorthand is disappearing. There is something romantic about it.

I’m not sure if all those experts in typewriting and shorthand still stand to benefit from their skill. I know most of those institutes turned into computer education centres. At least the typewriting/shorthand institutes charged less. I’m not sad that these are going out of existence. I’m just amazed at the pace of technological development that has rendered these ‘once-career-defining’ skills to something useless in a matter of 10 to 15 years. I’m just 30 and certain things that I’ve seen and experienced back then now would look like a scene from those black and white movies. Can I say mobiles that we use now may go out of existence (or develop into something else) in another 15 years?